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Jesus Actually Told a Religious Leader that He Was Right

2010-08-13T09:14:00.002-04:00

I found it interesting in Mark 12:34 that Jesus actually told a religious teacher/leader that he was not far from the kingdom of heaven. I've known this passage, but it actually struck me today in a fresh way. Jesus said that to the leader because Jesus realized that the leader actually had understanding. It seems Jesus realized this because the leader confessed it is more important to love God with everything we are and to love our neighbors to the very end than to carry out religious rituals or worship traditions. I am reminded of the conversation I had with a few deacons the other day because it occurs to me that we are all hoping to love God with our hearts, souls, minds, and strengths (not to mention our corporal heart, soul, mind, and strength) and to love one another. Could it be that there is more we can offer to God from our love so it is surrendered for God's use? Could it be that we aren't loving our neighbors as ourselves?

If we were in another person's shoes, I suspect we would want to be loved by being noticed, so we probably need to notice everyone. (I think that happens outside of worship with a multigenerational ministry focus and a visitation to seniors from younger generations that aren't just staff and that aren't just keeping appearances.) If we were in another person's shoes, I suspect we would want to have things our way, but at least for me, if I were off-base or not clicking with God's vision and direction, it would be more important that someone hung in there with me, let me speak my mind, and also patiently communicate the vision until I got it. Then I'd want to be sure I were part of it at least on a small level. I think the deacons are right to offer deacony care, and I am also convinced that every generation here needs to be reminded of God's vision as much as possible and included in it on whatever level over which we actually have the power to include them. Those who get it need to help communicate it unceasingly to those who don't. (Does any of us really get the full monty of God's vision anyway?) We need to involve and include everyone. To love someone as we want to be loved is not to placate, to appease, or even to do what we say in hopes that we can move on from this conversation; it feels condescending when people do that. Loving people as we love ourselves means hanging in their and talking with people who actually want a conversation. For the others, I am reminded of how we tend to deal with family members who speak up without actually wanting dialogue. Of course we listen; we can't do otherwise. But how much of our real attention do these people get? Not much. We can hear them, we can even respond, but at the end of the day, those are the stories about "Crazy Aunt Elma" or "Scroogy Cousin Bob" that we tell but that don't decide the direction of a family. To do that would not be to love our families, nor would it move our families in a forward-moving, healthy direction. Treating the family of God any differently is certainly not love. It is not loving people as we love ourselves. We're missing the boat bigtime if we ignore or listen to much to people who aren't interested in a dialogue. We're missing to boat, too, if we don't engage dialogue with God's people who are out there actually trying to serve God. I suspect our heart isn't God's in this matter, and I'm convinced we're still learning to love one another as we love ourselves.

So, if we want to be close to the kingdom, that may or may not look like specific activities, but it will always look like full, complete, all-in love.

Clarification on Buying and Selling Spiritual Gifts

2010-08-04T10:39:00.004-04:00

Apparently I need to dig into this a little more deeply. First, let me clarify that my status the other day ("My spiritual gifts are not a commodity to be bought and sold.") was not my way of saying that I lack appreciation or self-esteem. I don't feel used or abused by 99.9% of the people I know. I receive more appreciation than I deserve, and I have enough self-esteem for all of my Facebook friends combined. Though I am still learning how to live it out, I generally know who I am, what I have to offer, and how I can support my family, neighborhood, church family, and community.

Since updating my status that day, several people have taken it upon themselves to try and boost me up. That's very kind of you, and I appreciate you. I'll store those things away for days when I need them. THANKS!

That said, let me clarify where I'm coming from. It seems to me that we have turned a corner in North American churches that scares me. While there are exceptions to this rule, many church systems tend to shop for their leaders (paid and unpaid). The early Christians appointed leaders when it was apparent that someone was gifted to lead. A few hundred years later, when people were essentially forced into Christianity because the emperor converted and gave Christians political power that was abused, leaders were chosen by political maneuvering and hierarchy. That lasted an unfortunately long time among the churches that actually made it to the history books. (Those pockets that did it right seemingly weren't drawing attention to themselves - go figure.) In recent history, much more has been made of people's commitment to Christ manifesting fruit and gifts from the Holy Spirit of Christ. In fact, it now seems so en vogue to have people with a certain gift mix at your church that search committees (or whatever) now look only for the "right gifts" for a particular ministry position.

This is all good until we put that within our cultural context. The majority of North Americans from all walks of life live in such a manner that we are able to pick and choose everything we experience. We all pick and choose where to spend our money and time based on what is best for us and our loved ones. The people who give us the materials and experiences we want are called "customer service personnel," specifically chosen because they facilitate us spending money how we want to spend it in ways that will also benefit the service provider. We are so accustomed to this system that it is nearly impossible for us to leave it out of church life and public worship.

You know, public worship, that time when we all get together supposedly because we believe God is good and loving and God has blessed us so much that we cannot contain ourselves - we must share in the love of God with others like us! We must unite our voices together to tell God and to remind ourselves that Jesus is worth everything we have and everything that we are! Or at least, this is the Sunday School answer we give each other when asked why we attend Sunday morning worship.

Oh, but wait. We don't attend Sunday morning worship. We attend "church." "Church" isn't the group of people who exist as Christ's body anymore (thankfully, given some of the things we've done in our churches). "Church" is the place where we go on Sunday mornings. "Church" is the system intended to offer blessing and relief to me. "Church" is the place that gets my time and money when I like what's going on there. "Church" is the place I choose based on which "customer service personnel" offer the best children's program, the best things to keep my teens out of trouble and to help them stop mouthing off at home, a style of music that I can at least tolerate (hopefully like), a talk that says all the right things without making me feel poorly, people friendly enough that I feel welcome without being so friendly that they seem pushy, a place where I can attend and - maybe - participate without feeling embarrassed for spinning my tires. If the personnel can supply the demand that I bring with me to "church," then I'll stick around most Sundays and put my money in the plate. If things get out of line, though, I won't tip...I mean give.

This is a little cynical, admittedly. Part of my wrestling right now is that I'm in a church with some of the best of all people. I regularly see some of the most wonderful, loving, generous, committed, warm people I've ever met. And I love them. Like, really. Love them. What I don't love is that while we have good people and a structure that we could make work if we really wanted to, we have an unwritten system - like almost every church I've ever seen - in which a decision isn't necessarily final if it's questioned by the right people; a person's gifts are attractive in the hiring process but not when the person actually uses their gifts to move us forward; and we spend the time that could be spent in prayer, dreaming, planning, and serving with analyzing, evaluating, retooling, and compromising.*

Our church institution is nothing new. (Now, the people are different, but the system is all too familiar.) People with great gifts are everywhere, and we're even all asking to use our gifts, hoping that we can do what we love to do at church, but until a gift (and/or a person) is approved by the system (nothing formal, of course), we don't go there. We use people whose gifts build up the system we have and contribute to the supply of people's demands. It's too bad, then, that we're doing nothing to supply God's demand, since God is supposedly the One we gather for in the first place. It's too bad that, rather than me being able simply to exercise discernment in planning and song selection, administration is producing a thoughtful flow, worship leadership in congregational singing, teaching and knowledge during the message, I join my sisters and brothers here who still use our gifts while weeding through the myriad voices of the system, trying to sway us from employing our gifts for God's good use into the system of "buying and selling," supply and demand.

*About compromise. I don't believe in it. At all. It's a surefire way for at least two people who disagree not to have to work through it and make the best decision. We call it middle-ground, but it's really the way to end up with no one happy...except anyone who doesn't want you to make a good, healthy, sacrificial decision.

Eating Crow: Your Chuckle of the Day

2010-05-10T21:04:00.004-04:00

You can imagine how self-important I felt on my drive to the nursing home yesterday afternoon. There I was, sacrificing my own day and my own plans with Natasha to go to the nursing home and play piano for the residents on Mothers Day. I thought, "Not many people will go to the nursing home today. They will be concerned with their own Mothers Day plans to go out for someone else's day. And those who do go are probably going out of a sense of duty. They probably haven't been there in awhile, but they're thinking they'd better go on Mothers Day if they go at all!"

Who knows if that's right, but I was certainly feeling good. I stopped off at my desk to pick up a book of piano preludes that I knew would be nice for the residents. I thought, "I'll bet no one plays extra music at these events. They're probably just like I would be any other day: show up, do my thing, leave." Not me, though, not yesterday. Oh, was I ever good!

And I played beautifully! I mean beautifully. It didn't matter that the piano was in ill repair and out of tune. It didn't matter that the sound was muddy, that the sostenuto pedal was broken, or that there was so much noise that no one could hear me anyway. It was good music.

That is, it was good until I got to "Blessed Assurance." I was told ahead of time that the nursing home had their own hymnals. And they do. They're the kind with no music, I discovered upon my arrival. "No matter," I thought. "I know these songs anyway." So, when the group wanted to sing "Blessed Assurance," I prepared myself to continue blessing these people with great music.

Then I drew a blank. "What key is that in again? Is it D or G?" Now, if you're not a musician, there's a BIG difference there. Something said, "D," inside me, but I second-guessed myself and started in G. It's a good thing that Ken is a strong tenor, or no one would've been singing a perfect fifth too high, as I was playing it! "Oh, no!" I thought. "This was beautiful up till now! Aargh!!!"

So I kept playing. Then it hit me. "Modulate!" I thought. So I did. With no warning to the singers whatsoever, I began modulating between the verses. And I kept modulating until we arrived at something somewhat singable. The only problem is that on that muddy piano, the modulations were unclear, and it wasn't until several bars into each verse that anyone knew I had actually modulated. Singers in one key, piano in another, and the leader of the whole thing singing an octave below whatever he could hear that was loudest. Oh, what a shlimazel! By the end of the song, even Bernie was looking at me as if to say, "Where on earth did you go? Mars?!"

I couldn't even look at the residents. Thankfully, the one closest to me was asleep and the one beside her was just so gracious and pleased to have people around that she just encouraged us all. I felt so ashamed. I arrived with this feeling of generosity and goodwill, then I derailed an otherwise lovely afternoon. The rest of the day was salvaged quite nicely by the leader of the day and the subsequent songs, the keys of which I didn't forget. Nevertheless, I left for home praying, "Oh, it's good to be humbled!"

LE

How Shall We Worship - What Idols Tempt Us Away from Worshiping the Only True God?

2010-02-22T08:03:00.002-05:00

I grew up in a conservative, church-attending, God-talk-giving, people-shunning culture. The denominations in which I grew up tended to use the word "idolatry" to judge "those people out there," or the people who weren't sitting in church pews on Sunday mornings. If I hear one more sermon about how people outside the church are worshiping things other than God, I think I may scream: why was that news to us? Why did it surprise us that people who have chosen not to worship Jesus will worship something/someone else? Why did we spend so much energy railing against people who worship idols when they were not there in the service to hear our railing in the first place?

We likely spent so much energy trying to name other people's idolatry in order to hide our own (55). I think Dawn struck gold in this chapter, not only because she affirms something I've thought for awhile now. She struck gold because she nailed the very reason why God would communicate to God's people in the Scriptures why God hates idolatry. It was to God's people that the reminder was offered in Psalm 96:5 that the gods of the nations are mere idols. It was to God's people that a reminder was offered that God is great, God is our Creator, that God is worth our praise, that God is above any false god. It is fitting, then, that Dawn would invite God's people to consider what idols tempt us away from worship in spirit and in truth.

This fifth chapter (and most vital question so far, in my books) observes how quickly God's people will replace God with anything else in worship. Here Dawn calls out how many of our worship practices, rituals, ideologies, etc., become more important than God when we worship God. If God's people truly responded to God's worthiness of our adoration, then we would "resist all idolatries of self and comfort and ease, all divinizing of worship leaders, all sacralizing of our tastes and preferences, all gods of power or success" (49). It is inappropriate to elevate a person, a program, or a function of the church to receive our adoration and highest appreciation. It is inappropriate for God's people to stress one side or another of several worship tensions like those listed on p. 53: is worship about hearing God's truth or responding to God; is it about the head or the heart; is it about keeping fresh or maintaining continuity with the past; is it contextualized or universal; is it an opportunity for new expression or familiarity for the sake of congregational participation; is it about order or freedom in the Spirit; is it about joy, delight, and elation, or sorrow, penitence, and lament; is it about enthusiastic expression or silence; is it about ritual or spontaneity; is it about simplicity or complexity? The answer should be, "Yes."

This is why I think the word "balance" has been such a trap for God's people who worship in 21st century, North American churches. I recoil at the word "balance" because discussions around "balance" generally begin and/or end in anything but balance. We have convinced ourselves that we have two poles in each of the questions above. Each polar extreme (e.g. freshness vs. continuity with the past) is placed on a scale. If we have enough freshness and enough continuity, then the scale will balance, and we'll all live to see another day in church. If, however, there's too much freshness or too much continuity, then the balance will tip to one side or another, and we are left in despair. Maintain that balance above all else! we say.

This simply cannot be. Because the answer to each of the above polarities is, "yes," we cannot strive so hard to strike balance with every tension we encounter. Seeking balance requires that we have just enough of this and just enough of that. The question becomes, "Who decides how much of one thing equals a balanced amount of something else?" Does one fresh skit in worship have so much weight that it means we should sing Doxology to Old Hundredth after the offering, recite the Apostles' Creed, and end with a hymn just to "balance" things out? Maybe doing one "old" hymn is enough to require a fresh video clip, a liturgical dance, and a praise chorus? This is nonsense that leads precisely where Dawn indicates: an idolatrous worship of the things we do rather than the One for whom we do them (52-56). Triune God has triumphed over all other gods threefold, as Father, Son, and Spirit, and, therefore, God has triumphed over things like worship elements, the appearance of a worship space or those leading in worship, our reputation in the community and our denomination, and whether we are "current" enough. If we spent as much energy worshiping God on every level listed above as we do on balancing, I suspect our worship gatherings would become revolutionary for our faith and, ironically enough, more interesting to people not in our faith.

Dawn's solution to moving away from an idolatrous balancing act into true worship of our only true God is genius. She invites the reader to consider another tension in Scripture: that between fear and love. Fortunately, she clarifies that "fear" is not synonymous with terror or feeling scared, nor is it simply reverence and awe, as we often hear it said in our camp. It is actually a realization that we are unworthy when compared to God, so we do not take God's love and mercy for granted (50). When we worship, then, it is to include both a proper sense of fear and a proper sense of love (both God's love for us and ours for God). Resolving this tension by worshiping in both "moods" better enables us to connect with and to elevate God in a way that rescues us from the snares we lay for ourselves in worship. As the Bible seems to indicate, the solution to a faith problem is neither working it out in a frenzy of self-urgency nor ignoring it so it will go away. The solution to our faith problems is to worship - to worship God, who is worth it, with all that we are in every way that we can, keeping God as our focus. It's as if Jesus meant it when He told the disciples to seek God's Kingdom first or that Paul meant it when he instructed those reading his letter to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.

This chapter certainly unearthed some huge questions and opinions from me, but I close wondering how many of the idolatries Dawn exposes are present in my daily, personal worship. How many are in our worship at IBC? (I think I can tell you some of them....) How many are so prevalent in our present-day North American churches that we wouldn't even recognize them as a problem?! God, have mercy.

Great quote: "We spend our lives choosing what pleases us, so it is decidedly countercultural to search instead for what pleases God" (55). I like being countercultural. :)

How Shall We Worship - What Will Be the Result of Genuine Worship?

2010-02-03T11:15:00.000-05:00

Some time ago I began musing on Marva Dawn’s How Shall We Worship? (Tyndale, 2003). After nearly a month off and two subsequent interruptions in my routine, I feel happy to return to this. Chapter four was a fantastic read for many reasons, the least of which is not the challenge Dr. Dawn offers to Jesus followers in 21st century North American culture. Before I dive in, please remember that these posts are not a final opinion or a “thus saith the Lord” statement; they are my musings as a turn thoughts and feelings around inside me. :)

Dr. Dawn uses chapter four to tackle the question of the result of worship. Of course this chapter had my attention because I have experienced several perspectives on this question. Some people in my past told me that worship results in an emotional bath that cleanses our hearts and minds, leaving us in a spiritual euphoria. Others told me that it results in our intellects being boosted with theology and doctrine that reinforce Christian dogma and instruct “right” Christian living. Still others told me that worship results in engaging God at church, shutting out the rest of the week, and preparing to hear someone teach from the Scriptures.

Before reading this chapter, my big assumption was that the result of worship was all of these - and none - all at the same time. I’ve often wondered if it’s a good idea for us to spend so much time looking at the result. Dr. Dawn challenged me by challenging something much more basic, our theology of “going to church” (39). Likely one of the biggest reasons there are too many perspectives of the result of our worship is that we tend to link worship with going to church. Church is not something to go to; Church is something that Jesus’ followers are. Dr. Dawn calls people not to go to church but, rather, to be Church (40). If we are Church, then we rethink worship and its results. The result of worship is simply being Church: it is Jesus’ followers learning to live together and to impact the world around us (45).

This perspective is terribly important, particularly for our North American churches. Many churches I’ve served and heard about are attended by people who view church as a place to go, a weekly event to take in. We families and individuals choose whether or not to attend church every week for thousands of reasons. Once we get to church, we choose whether or not to participate in the worship activities for thousands more reasons. Then we leave church, going into the other 167 hours of the week either by analyzing how well we received what we just attended or by ignoring it altogether. Meanwhile, as Jesus’ followers, we are still the Church, only we have not connected with other people who make up Church, nor have we attempted to engage Christ. If worship really is our response to God’s grace, as Dr. Dawn previously wrote, then worship didn’t take place at all!

If we genuinely worship, being Church instead of attending church, then we can agree that “the result of worshiping will be that we know the Trinity better and will be formed to be more like Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit” (40). What inevitably flows out of that is a witness to the people around us (42). That witness may or may not be verbal, may or may not be logically organized, and likely will not be programmed. It will simply flow out of us to people whom we can bet are certainly paying attention to whether we who claim to follow Jesus actually follow Jesus. (A personal note: what I find scary is that if we claim to follow Jesus, then whatever we do will reflect on Jesus, rightly or wrongly, allowing people’s perception of Jesus to be shaped by what we say and do. If you don’t believe me, just think about the last conversation you had with someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. Was the conversation about Jesus being unworthy of being followed, or was it about how Christians and churches have majorly dropped the ball?)

Sometimes we wonder if it’s reasonable to think anything would flow out of us when we leave worship. It certainly won’t if we simply attend church or program church. However, “if our worship is filled with God’s Splendor - in all kinds of sounds and songs, artworks, Scripture texts, homiletical insights, holy silences, corporate prayers, forgiveness and peace-filled blessings - then we’ll have much to tell!” (43). This is the type of statement that resolves the tension between “worship” and “evangelism” in my mind. We cannot stress ourselves over attempting to evangelize when we come together in public gatherings, nor can we ignore the people coming to church who aren’t being Church. Since it’s worship, we invite the Spirit to fill what we do with God’s splendor. Then we are drawn close to God, God draws close to us (James 4:7), and Jesus is lifted up, drawing people to God (John 12:32). Our response when we come to church is actually, then, to be Church, reveling in how worthy God is of our time and attention. The result is that we’re more like Jesus, less like the humans who turn people “off” from church. Then witness takes place.

A final thought is important, since we acknowledge that witness is something that flows out of a life that is filled up with Christ. Dr. Dawn brings the reader back to Acts 2, a passage we Jesus followers often use to tell people go out and “preach those people into heaven!” Looking at Acts 2, we see that tons of people believed when Peter explained what was going on. However, even more people believed in the discussions that followed, and still more believed when people lived a life that reflected Jesus (44). Being a witness is part of being Church, but most effective witness flows out of a life that worships 168 hours per week. The witness may come about in several ways, but it will always reflect Christ and point people back to Christ, just as our worship will always reflect Christ and point us all back to Christ.

My final question is this: why do we concern ourselves with the result of worship (meaning the hour on Sunday) in the remainder of our week? Shouldn’t the public gathering culminate as the result of an entire week of worship?

LE

Without You

2009-12-25T14:11:00.003-05:00

What I said in December 2007 rings true: I love my dad, and my dad is a windbag. That's why I'm like my dad. That and we both miss one another, especially when holidays roll around. His Hallmark Christmas sounds beautiful, but not because it's without me. It's because it's just the type of Christmas to make my dad almost love Christmas. He has snow, while I'm having a delightfully green and dry (for the Maritimes, anyway) Christmas. He has tons of family around, visits from his in-laws and female children, while it's just the four of us here. He sits on his laptop wondering if I'll respond to his infamous annual missive and, as usual, I'll take the bait.

Three reasons I'll take the bait:

1) Our Christmas letter is still saved on this very machine, safely awaiting me to print more than one copy and to send them out. See, I'm not just like my dad; I'm also my mom. If you walked into her dining room today, I guarantee you there's a card for you somewhere, just waiting to be sent. She's extremely thoughtful. She just has a quirk of writing out cards and letters without sending all of them. Me, too. One of these years, Natasha will tell me she's taking over the Christmas letter. Until then, you're unlikely to receive ours on time. (Ours was finished before Natasha's birthday, by the way. It's really that I simply need to remember to send them.)

2) I almost always take my dad's bait. It's one of the things he likes about me, I'm sure. :) Reality is that my dad is a lot of fun, if a mostly-honest writer. He's extremely, uniquely smart - something I think I'm glad to see manifesting itself in our older daughter. She's an Erskine through and through, so much so that I regularly ask Natasha, "Do you think we're up for parenting this child?" He's had every experience in the book, from professional musicianship, to teaching university students, to consulting with state and federal governments on Internet business, to running an Internet business, to singing, to conducting, to writing, to publishing, to crafting stand-up comedy routines, to completing more degrees than I am aware of, to parenting six children, to preaching, to motorcycling, to do more things than I can even remember off the top of my head. Somehow in the mix of all that, he had the time and thoughtfulness to share his heart and mind with us. He's probably the way I think, laugh, and dream like I do, though I think my sense of humor comes from my mom. He's the reason I believe that anyone can do anything. He's the reason that I love Christmas, ironically enough. He's also the reason I like to tell stories, even if I offer a different perspective than his. (Maybe it's that I like to find stories worth telling on their own, independent of my creative license.) :D He's the example I had for loving my family, and I hope with everything in me to adopt most of what he offered us. He's also the reason I question things and wonder how much around us is "as good as it gets," or whether things can be different. He's the reason I'm an idealist, too. Our talk is different (his can be snarky, mine too often pie-in-the-sky), but in the end, we both want the same things for people and the world. We both want to see people free to realize their fullest potential, a world in which we can all embrace and live in liberty. He's the reason I am so convinced about Jesus, despite how frequently Christians try to make Jesus look bad. He's also the reason I have about two dozen "Dear Dad" letters like his written in my mind. Since the motorcycle ride in November 1998 when he told me his time was limited, I've mourned and remourned the loss that hasn't happened almost every day. His is a life worth celebrating, and that is why I stand my ground and call him "Big Fish." That movie was 100% about my dad, though the creative minds behind it didn't know it at the time. (Interestingly, the main character in "Big Fish" looked a lot like my grandfather Erskine, from whom my dad inherited all these fishy traits.) I will always celebrate my dad's life, today and on the day I'll write my final "Dear Dad," the time I'll actually have to mean it. I wouldn't change my dad being a windbag, overly-talented, too-smart-for-his-own-good, too-charming-for-everyone-else's-own-good, self-proclaimed-curmudgeon-who's-secretly-an-idealist, Christmas-loving, Big Fish for anything. Neither will I stop calling it how I see it. That's what I was raised to do. (Oh, and Dad, since I know you read this now, appealing to my spiritual side will only make me more likely to be honest about how I see it, so better luck next year.)

3) My dad's phone seems to be off or possessed. I've tried calling him (and, therefore, the family) for Christmas a couple of times with no luck other than a strange buzzing sound. Dad, either turn on your phone or get out the anointing oil. You might have a Hallmark Christmas without me, but that won't happen here without you.

LE

How Shall We Worship - How Do We Worship God?

2009-11-10T08:21:00.002-05:00

Chapter three in Dawn's "How Shall We Worship?" gets to another important question that, like chapter two, takes greater precedence over chapter one's "What Kind of Music Should We Use?" Granted, Dawn moves through this book asking questions as they appear in Psalm 96, so no claims are made about a relationship between the importance of a question and where the question appears in a book. This question of how we can worship God, the One whom chapter two rightly told us is the object of worship, sets the tone for people who worship daily. It should also set the tone for our Sunday gatherings, seemingly Dawn's primary focus so far.

Dawn has one simple response to the question, "How Do We Worship God?" She asserts that to worship God is to bless God's name (25). This response comes directly from Psalm 96:2, so it gets no biblical argument from me. Furthermore, it reiterates the concept that God is the object of worship, which I also like. The importance Dawn places on God's name is insightful because it helps shape our worship choices. It helps us choose prayers, music, drama, art forms, lessons, etc., based on God's name. The explanation she gives is also helpful: to bless God's name is to honor God's character, God's nature, God's being, all of which are captured in God's name. Those of us who have done much Bible reading know that God has several names throughout the Scriptures, all based on some attribute or characteristic of God. There are a great many ways to bless God's name, as we "bow down before the mystery and wonder of the incarnation" (26).

We can likely all assent to blessing God's name as part of worship, but I am stricken by Dawn's perspective that our worship is useless, in a sense (27). Understand here that Dawn does not think worship has no point; rather, she states that God doesn't actually need our blessing. After all, God is the one who blesses us. God is self-sufficient. God made everything, owns everything, and is over everything. Therefore, our blessing doesn't give something to God that God does not already have. Instead, "the verb calling us to bless God's name is an imperative urging us to kneel, to adore the Lord with bended knee...because God deserves our gratitude" (27). Again, "It is actually unproductive to bless God - God doesn't need it, and it won't change God's opinion about us one whit. Moreover, if we are selfless enough truly to sing to or of [God], it might not even make us feel any better. But we will be changed by it if we respond earnestly and wholeheartedly to all that God is" (27).

It is easy to see, then, that God, our object of worship, is the one who should receive blessing in worship. We ought to choose worship activities that seek to bless God, not to bless us. Our blessing may come from God, but worship is not about us or our blessing. Dawn nails several churches that have nice worship times, called "nice" because of what we feel when we're there. God is gracious enough to welcome us into what God feels sometimes, but she rightly calls our attention away from ourselves and back onto God.

That being said, I have two critiques of this chapter that I'd like to address. First, Dawn seems often to respond unfavorably to churches who take people into consideration in planning their worship services. She seemingly has little time for people who want to "attract" people to their churches with worship (27). That makes sense in that worship is about God and not about people. Trying to attract people who don't believe with a spectacle of our blessing God is foolhardy. On the other hand, I certainly hope that Dawn takes time later in the book to talk about worship tools and modes of communication. I belong to a movement that highly respects worship being done in the language of the people. While that movement originally wanted people to be able to speak in their native tongues, I am convinced that we face a similar decision today in terms of worship approaches. While I agree all musical forms should be used and never dictated by an effort to attract people, I strongly feel that music is a mode of communication. I am convinced that communicating through irrelevant music presents worshipers with a choice between music and worship. Relevant music (of which there are many styles - not just the common pop music with Jesus themes that churches like ours use so frequently) enables worship. When worship is done well with relevance to its people and their community, then music is less likely to overshadow worship. Music fades into the background, allowing worshipers to connect to lyrics, to emotions, to thoughts, and to other ways to bless God. A psalm, hymn, or spiritual song done well in a way that communicates in the "language" of the people present helps keep God in God's proper place. So, if we reject music simply because it seems attractive or is more appealing to unchurched people, then we run the risk of not communicating to some people. Let's not attempt to attract people with church music and worship, nor let us maintain dull, mediocre music so we can say we're not trying to attract others. (Note: any music style done poorly will be a distraction, so assume nothing about music. Hymns can be quite relevant, as can psalms and spiritual songs, if they are communicated well and with relevance. Is the trick for your worship ministry to get rid of the hymns? To abolish new spiritual songs? To step beyond the psalter to more contemporary thoughts? If so, then beware imminent irrelevance.)

I hesitate briefly to offer my second critique, which regards the church calendar. I am a big believer in using the church calendar for worship. It was designed in such a way that we trace the life of Christ throughout the year and are more likely to worship God more thoroughly when we look at all the stages of Christ's life and ministry. Furthermore, I couldn't agree more with Dawn, who indicates that using the church calendar for worship also helps us offer ourselves more fully to God. Much of the church year deals with topics and emotions that we don't often offer to God in our Sunday gatherings. Lent is likely the best example because it helps us to identify with Christ's time in the wilderness and helps us bring our emotions of sadness, disappointment, exhaustion, and apprehension to God. We are able to worship a more complete picture of God, and we're able to offer more of ourselves. Our services cannot always look the same if we're worshiping God for all God is with all that we are (30). Where I struggle with Dawn, then, is not with the concept that the church calendar is a valuable tool. Rather, the way she put this into her chapter reinforces my perception that this book is not entirely exegetical. Putting the church calendar in this chapter seemed sudden, as if Dawn had an agenda running parallel to her BIble study. She's completely biblical about worshipers blessing God's name, but can we honestly say that the Bible wants us to worship through the church calendar? Surely, this tool makes it easier to see more of God's attributes and character, and it requires more thought and feeling from worshipers, but is it really necessary for adequate worship? Can people not bless God's name without something like the church calendar? I suspect Dawn would assent that we can bless God without the church calendar, but I feel bothered that this agenda was put on the same level as exegesis. It seems Dawn saw an opportunity to include her own opinion in the Bible study and she took it. Fortunately, it's a helpful opinion, but reader, beware that we don't assume that the church calendar has anything to do with Psalm 96.

LE

How Shall We Worship - Who Is Being Worshiped?

2009-11-05T22:27:00.002-05:00

In this second chapter, Dawn hits on a much more vital question than she did in chapter one. Don't get me wrong; knowing what kind of music is appropriate is important. It's just that most of us who actually worship when we go to church already know that music is immaterial. That's why Dawn's opening statement to chapter two is so poignant: "The greatest danger of choosing where or at which type of service we worship according to our musical taste is that we forget that worship is for God" (19).

The rest of this very short chapter offers much of the same sentiment. Worship is for God. I like that a great deal because of how often our daily worship and our weekly worship gatherings miss that point. We're good at making worship about God or from God (as in a mandate), but we don't direct our worship activities in God's direction as often as we might. Dawn's helpful analysis shows how inevitable it is for worship to be directed away from God if we ignore our cultural (even church cultural) narcissism (20) and deny our capitalist approach to church, in which we do what we can to secure our fair share of the "market" (22). Clearly, planning, choosing, and evaluating worship with ourselves at the center is folly. (That's so much easier to say than actively to avoid!) It is equally true, though, that we need not to concern ourselves with recruitment and retention in church membership when we worship God. Worship is not about getting people to sit in our pews, nor is it about making sure people don't leave. Worship is our responsibility; it is something that we do. If someone chooses not to worship and to make church about themselves or their tastes, then they have missed the boat. That is no reason for us to become musical caterers instead of worship leaders.

That being said, I see two cautions in my mind's eye after these few pages:

1) Dawn applauds Willow Creek Church for their evangelistic Sunday events and midweek worship events, while wrapping the knuckles of churches who try to emulate that. She's smart for calling out the rest of us churches who are trying more to duplicate Willow than to engage our God. Her stress that worship is not the same thing as evangelism, though correct, can lead many of us not even to consider visitors or people who do not believe when we plan our group worship events. Not to consider unbelieving people and/or visitors simply will not work. God should never be replaced as the object of our worshipful affection, but ignoring visitors and/or unbelieving people only sets church bodies apart as elitist, erudite bodies who are unconcerned with identifying with people around them. Such insular thinking is why many, many people want nothing to do with churches and Christians. Planning worship events with visitors in mind, never apologizing for why we gather, but, rather, lifting Christ even higher in our praise is perfectly appropriate. (Note: planning with visitors in mind, though wise, must be done cautiously. Planning with visitors in mind is great until those visitors become regular attenders who now assume that everything will always be done according to their tastes. Fine line, isn't it?)

2) I think it's wise to remind one another consistently that worship is for God. We must tell each other regularly, "It's not about you." I feel a little scared that Dawn's once-and-for-all, matter-of-fact chapter states a plain truth and assumes we get it. Trust me, after 12 years in regular music ministry/worship leadership, we need this reminder at least once per week. Even when we get it, we still battle evaluating group worship events (Sundays, particularly) through the filters of our preferences and tastes. We may never be able to rid ourselves of personal biases, but we can become open-hearted and open-minded. And we should. It is a great idea to take Dawn's clear, brief chapter and assess ourselves regularly about who our worship is really for.

LE

How Shall We Worship - What Kinds of Music Should We Use?

2009-10-16T21:24:00.002-04:00

Welcome back to my musings on Marva J. Dawn's How Shall We Worship?! Please remember that these are just my thoughts literally as they "spill" out of my head. Nothing is well thought through or cemented in my thinking yet. :)

Just as Dawn indicated she would do in her introduction, she begins her offering of "better" questions for believers in Jesus at the beginning of Psalm 96. Psalm 96:1a states, "Sing to the Lord a new song," bringing the reader to Dawn's first question (and, hence, first chapter): What Kinds of Music Should We Use?

This question is a big one among many churches. Many of us unfortunately argue over this, my present context included (and possibly leading the fray, in some camps). While many believers look beyond music for worship, the question of what music is appropriate remains at the top of the list. Lest I become too harsh on the handful of voices who seem to argue in our church - and yours, if you're honest - understand that I think arguments over music are inevitable. Almost every church does music, and it is one of few ministries that is always up front every Sunday. As such, it is one of few ministries that is under constant scrutiny during our "hour on Sunday" (Nancy Beach). What we do when we perform on Sundays is so similar to performances elsewhere that we cannot help but critique what we see and hear, as we always do. Furthermore, because the music is part of worship, we worship musicians can expect spiritual opposition. It is good, then, that Psalm 96 and Dawn's insights begin with the question of appropriate music in church.

Dawn offers several helpful thoughts in this first chapter, beginning with her admission that we churches fight too much about music. She asserts that when churches fight over musical styles, we lose focus on (and even reject) our Christian heritage, global music, and new things God is doing (1). The accuracy of this observation almost goes without saying. When was the last time you heard someone debating musical style who actually alluded to the first century believers, the saints whose relationships with Christ brought about our theology, the lessons we've learned through history, the way God is moving among people not in our town or faith camp, or the way God is still doing new and great things every day? (I tried this once; it gets nowhere with someone who simply wants what they want.)

The reticence to accept new things and embrace new songs has unsupportable roots, but there is good reason not to sell oneself solely to new (or contemporary) music. Dawn wisely suggests first that Psalm 96:1 does not call God's people only to do new songs (2). Such an approach is unbiblical and ignores the concept of the great cloud of witnesses of which we are a small part. I've heard a cliché that warns us who cannot learn from our past: we will repeat it. Was it God's plan for each successive generation to become acquainted with God anew and to relearn our doctrine from scratch? Absolutely not! (Don't take my word for it: the Scriptures indicate at least 79 times that God's promises are for all people and our future generations. Look particularly at the psalms, since they're possibly most apropos to this discussion.) If this was not God's plan, then whence did this concept of "out with the old, in with the new" invade our worship music?

Dawn points to the coming of age of the Boomers as the unfortunate switch for worshipers. She asserts that rebellion against institutions and individuals of authority led the Boomers to establish self identity through music. She inadvertently blames capitalism, too, stating that marketers realized they could make more money by segregating music styles and capitalizing on niche marketing (targeting one particular market as opposed to aiming at everyone). This, Dawn claims, invaded the church and began the first rounds of music style debates that have yet to stop (10-12). I wasn't there in the 60s, so I will trust Dawn on her history. It certainly makes sense and seems helpful. Where I part from her is the concept that rebellion and niche marketing are still primarily to blame. (I'm also not big on blaming the Boomers for everything, though it certainly seems they've done a number to our world.... So have we.) Though the independence, self-sufficiency, and self-indulgence of a generation (in general) led to great rebellions and money opportunities, that cannot be the lasting factor in our churches. As the son of a used-to-be hippie, I've personally watched a generation before me learn a great deal about "the real world" and turn from extreme rebellion to attempting to make a difference in the world. We're all grateful that a generation of people finally questioned some very questionable things from several generations ago. Few of the so-called rebels are still trying to rebel against "the establishment." In fact, several people of that era have entered the establishment to bring much needed reform from the inside. In some cases, we're much further ahead because of these rebellious, money-giving Boomers. It is much more likely that rebellion and self-indulgence in people in general is the culprit to our fighting. As Dawn rightly observes, neither the emerging Boomers nor the former generations responded well when the Boomers began forming an identity. The Boomers rebelled, and the older people counter-rebelled. Everyone wanted it their way. Everyone still wants it their way. Add to this the unforgiven, unhealed rifts among people who have lived through fights like these, and we are left with people in our churches with selfishness and baggage. It is the human condition (apart from God's grace) that began this problem and that allows is to continue today. (Let's all pray we can respond to God's grace - to worship - in order to get ourselves out of these musical fights!)

So, if Dawn purports that new music should not be king for our churches, should old music take the lead? She later states, "...God is never to be contained by the music we already know" (5). This is an excellent point because God is bigger than all music, new and old. New worship songs are written so frequently because human experience and knowledge have yet to exhaust the mystery of our eternal Friend and Lord. "No single type of music can respond to all that God is. No instrument can sing all God's attributes. No era of the Church has displayed the fullness of God's glory" (13). While it is important, then, to embrace the old songs, one can never stop there if we want to worship God fully.

Believe it or not, Dawn talks about me in her book. No, it's true. She writes, "Many of the younger-than-boomer generations are asking what might be learned from the past, from the roots of the Church, as they search for mystery, symbolism, heritage, and depth - all for the sake of worship God genuinely in 'spirit and truth'" (12-13). When I read this, I realized this is exactly where I am on this debate. I have no interest in either old or new music. I hate the labels "contemporary" and "traditional." Did you read that? Hate. HATE. I think those labels are a stench in God's nostrils because they mean nothing to God. In my experience (and as I've studied the Scriptures and church history), the only people who use these labels are people who want things their way or who want to please people more than they want to worship. I now have Dawn to thank for backing me up. (And since she has a title in front of her name and degrees after it, a few people in my context who won't ever read this blog might actually listen to me now.) Dawn wants to get rid of the self-serving labels "contemporary" and "traditional" because neither is well defined (2-3). They are confusing terms. "Contemporary" can refer to many, many things, like new songs, new tunes to old texts, new texts to old tunes, new arrangements of old songs, new instruments with new songs, new instruments with old songs, old instruments with new songs, and so one. And "traditional?" Whose tradition? What tradition? Are we talking from ancient times? Or, like in my context, are we talking not about traditions at all but about old songs? These terms are confusing and, Dawn indicates, are destined to reinforce conflict rather than to solve it.

Some of us who don't like conflict are probably thinking of the words "blended" and "convergent" right now. (I certainly was when I first read this.) Bluntly, I hate these words, too, because they simply are not what they claim to be. If you believe Robert Webber (which I do), blended worship is actually about blending traditions together across time and space to worship God as fully as humanity can do. We blend worship traditions like singing, prayer, teaching, confession, and so on, all to honor God. When we say, "blended worship," though, we tend to think about trying to develop a formula like "opening hymn, two gospel songs, three choruses, and a closing hymn." Convergent is similar. This also comes from Webber, thinking worship converges across time and space whenever we worship. It even indicates that everything ancient and everything that is yet to be in worshiping God converges when- and wherever we worship ourselves. Of course, when we say "convergent," we tend to think that we're trying to converge hymns and new songs as if they'd ever been separated in God's eyes.

Dawn doesn't like the words "blended" and "convergent" for worship either. She seems not to take as much stock in Webber's work as I do, but, like me, she sees great value in the concepts of blended and convergent worship (as Webber expresses them, not as we do). On the other hand, she sees these positive concepts going wrong in practice (13-14). It is not enough simply to try and blend tastes or to converge what we all like, which is what inevitably happens. If you get the chance, read her critiques. For now it is sufficient to state that Dawn is dissatisfied with an approach that still has not healed the breach between worshipers. She states early on that dividing churches is biblically inappropriate (6). To divide along blurry lines like "contemporary" and "traditional" is completely wrong. To pretend to bridge the gap by blending tastes or converging people's preferences still places too much emphasis on the preferences themselves. The separation still exists.

I agree with Dawn wholeheartedly in this matter. She helpfully shows that the divide between musical preferences may also reflect a divide between people whose brains are more involved in worship and whose hearts are more involved - the proverbial "thinker-feeler" divide (7). Dawn shows how older songs (before the 19th century, anyway) were considerably better thought out, while more modern songs focus on feelings. Modern people who prefer older songs often engage cognitively, while those who prefer newer songs often like to "feel" the truth of the songs deep down. I personally think this can be taken to an extreme, so if you're reading my thoughts (scary!), try to avoid that. Dawn's point is well taken, though. These divides sometimes run deeper than music, but we must learn to worship through the necessary tension of thought and feeling - of truth and spirit (John 4:23). Both are necessary in worship, so music that reflects both are necessary in worship.

To answer the question of what kinds of music should be used, one must ask oneself what music allows us to worship in spirit and in truth. That can honestly be anything. I've done quite a bit of study on Ephesians 5:19 and Colossians 3:16, so I felt flattered that Dawn used them in her chapter (4-5). If my study is accurate, then Dawn's study is quite sound. (If not, we still agree and are both quacks.) She shows how these Scriptures, reflecting the whole of Scripture (including other specific ones she mentions), show no sign of God's preferred style of music. If we can trust the Bible at all, then we can tell that God has no musical preference. The inclusive language in the music passage shows that any music is okay, provided that God is being worshiped. The point of music is not simply to have music, nor is it meant primarily to please people. Though music touches us deeply, in worship it is simply a tool. As Dawn writes, a good worship service can easily include tons of styles, instruments, singers, and origins when it actually displays the texts and themes of the worship experience (17). She seems to indicate that unless a service deliberately chooses many styles, we are selling God and God's worship short. I tend to agree. Now if only I would plan better than way....

In closing I have three disjunct thoughts:

1) You probably think I agreed with Dawn in every word, sentence, and punctuation mark in this chapter. You're pretty close to correct. However, I must take issue with how interchangeably she uses the words "worship" and "music" here. It's difficult not to do that, but considering the topic at hand, clearer delineation would be helpful. I'm presently on a kick to reverse a kick I had a few years ago. I'm considering how I can be more honest in worship when it comes to music. I went on a kick of removing all kinds of music and performance terms because it just wasn't godly. Then I realized that my approach confuses people and only reinforces the grave mistake that music is worship. Paul Westermeyer really helped me with this when he remarked, "Let our music be broken to God." That is the correct approach, if there is one. To be honest that we are doing music, we're performing, and so on, is healthy in church, provided it is part of being a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1-2). So, I'm on a kick of calling music "music" again and using performance terms because it's what they are. And I'm praying a great deal that these are all sacrificed to God.

2) I LOVE the title Dawn gives to the Prodigal Son parable: the Waiting Father (16). It's so much more accurate to the story! (For more on the Waiting Father story, I HIGHLY recommend Tim Keller's work.

3) I closed with a great quote last time. I've got another one. "Perhaps we can simply summarize our goal by declaring that our worship could make use of 'the Music of the "one holy, catholic, apostolic Church" (as the Nicene Creed calls it) for the Sake of the Whole World'" (15).

LE

How Shall We Worship - Intro

2009-10-14T14:17:00.004-04:00

These are fascinating times for our church. A recent decision to experiment with how to maximize the space available for people we may invite to worship with us has led to several interesting discussions about worship. It also led one wise gentleman in our church to give Dr. Marva J. Dawn's How Shall We Worship? ((c) 2003, Tyndale House Publishers) to the church office. The intent is that our staff, leadership team, deacons ministry, worship artists, and interested people will read the book and consider its content as we discuss worship in our church.

I must confess that receiving the book threatened to set me on edge. In my line of work, when someone hands you a book or recommends a resource, it is almost always an invitation to join one's way of thinking without having a face-to-face conversation. Getting a book from someone, more often than not, is tantamount to receiving a lecture or slap on the hand. Were it not for how much I trust the person who gave this book, I likely would have handed it back or set it on my shelf to collect dust. However, this is a pressing issue, particularly at present, and the gentleman who donated the book to our discussion is generally wise and focused on the "right" things.

This post and those that follow come from my desire to get thoughts out of my brain - nothing more. I'm an out-loud processor, and as I began reading this short book, I realized my brain had so many thoughts that I wanted to organize them before I formalize my response to the gentleman who gave me the book. Furthermore, I have an opportunity I do not deserve to lead a workshop at Acadia next spring during the Simpson Lectures, at which Dawn is the guest lecturer. Having my thoughts organized before I venture to lead a workshop on Dawn's watch is likely a good idea. (I'm sure it will also help me understand the bias of those people who requested Dawn's expertise.) So, without further ado, here are my thoughts, literally as they pour out of my head.

First, let me say that this is not my first exposure to the illustrious Dr. Marva J. Dawn. Dawn's material greatly influenced Natasha and me when we worked on our respective undergraduate degrees. Her perspective on worship is largely biblical and thought out critically. She is discontent to follow Christian cultural trends, though she does not like to rail against them either. Her faith and personal worship flow through everything she does. It is that, rather than page 189, to which I was immediately directed by handwritten note from the gentleman mentioned above, that makes me trust Dawn's perspective. Page 189 details Dawn's knowledge, which cannot be denied. However, in my books, someone with lots of knowledge about something one has not personally experienced is simply puffed up (1 Cor 8:1). Worship is about Spirit and truth (John 4:23-24), not knowledge or argument. Dawn is an expert on worship, then, because of her high regard for Jesus and her practice of worship in Spirit and in truth.

My impression of Dawn has not changed, though I'm only writing about the introduction in this post. This introduction reflects a positive, nostalgic worship experience that began in Dawn's childhood and lasted into her adult life. Worship brings nostalgia, but it obviously stuck with her. Her high regard for worship experiences, though, seemingly do not cloud her thinking. Though optimistic about what worship may be, Dawn is very honest about what has taken place in churches lately. She seemingly wants to hold the Church accountable to worship in Spirit and in truth.

To do so, Dawn gives us the reader a hint that she will ask more helpful questions about worship than those asked among most worshiping bodies. Her list of questions are quite insightful (xiii-xiv) and should lead to productive dialogue, if anyone at our church besides me reads this book.

Whether she meant it or not, Dawn did not only leave the reader with a list of helpful questions. In describing what worship really is, she mentions both private and public worship (xi). She mentions that the human response to God's grace - or, worship - begins in private lives with acts of personal devotion and also includes our public worship, when we join with other people to respond to God's grace. First, I confess that in my experience, we Christians regularly forget that our "devotions" and "church going" is actually about responding to God's grace, at least in most places in North America. We are so safe and well insulated that we may or may not talk about God's grace in worship evaluation, but we will almost always talk about whether we agreed with the sermon, liked the music, or found someone's offering of a spiritual gift appropriate. If Dawn hopes to keep the Church accountable, she does here. We ought to remember that worship is a response, not something we choose whether or not to join. If we've seen God's grace, we will respond, whether we realize it or not. We will either receive it or reject it and respond accordingly. Furthermore, as we respond to God's grace, the place for our personal preferences is likely in times of personal devotion. Dawn doesn't say it, but I cannot help but think about the battles that happen over worship inside our church doors and wonder why we want our personal preference to reign in public settings. That never happens in any other public gathering. There is no place in which we may go and say, "This is how we do it in our home," or, "This is how I prefer it to be done," and expect the masses to follow. It's mad - and maddening - to assume that any one of us could do that in church. This is easy for me to say because I've been trained not to look at attending church that way, and our gatherings so rarely reflect my preferences that I just don't bother getting vexed about it anymore. I think we would be well served to keep our personal preferences in our personal worship and think with a more open mind when it comes to our public gatherings. Dawn's tree analogy (xv) is perfect for this: let our public gatherings be rooted in the Scriptures, and let the branches (us) in Christ the Vine bear great fruit when we come together!

As helpful as I suspect this book will be, two concerns come to my mind. First, Dawn asks whether our worship is true to the Christian faith (xii), leaving me to wonder if the inverse is possible. If worship is a faith response to God's grace, how can it be untrue to faith? Responding to God's grace is faith. Responding to God's grace in Christ is the Christian faith. Though we may not all respond similarly, I have many doubts that any faith response can be untrue to faith. I wonder where Dawn will go with this line of thinking?

My other concern has to do with Dawn preparing to use Psalm 96 as the foundation for this book (xv). Don't get me wrong: I like the Bible and think it is useful for this discussion. I also think a psalm is likely the most appropriate model for worship that there is. She is smart to go this route, but I hope her exegesis of Psalm 96 will include the whole of Scripture. Worship is a huge issue, talked about in many, many passages. Though reading through the psalm gets me excited for what she will offer, can we really build a theology on one passage alone, when there are so many others to include in the discussion? How well rounded will this be? My hope is that Dawn's page 189 knowledge base has equipped her for adequate exegesis.

I close these reflections by quoting what I found to be the best question in this chapter: "Do these descriptions and understandings [of worship as we define it in the ranks of our own churches] enable churches to be all that they could be for the sake of the world around them?" (xiv).

LE

Health Care

2009-08-12T15:59:00.002-04:00

To say this is a provoked post would be a half-truth. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm opinionated. Unfortunately, I am often even opinionated when I have little legitimate research and fact behind my opinion. For example, I am opinionated about health care and health care reform, but I have a small foundation for the facts and a lot of experience behind my opinion.

That is the perfect type of person to react to the amount of press President Obama is getting here in eastern Canada about his proposed health care reform. I've been meaning to add my two cents, in fact. I couldn't resist, though, when I was reminded by one of my favorite people of all time how well I miscommunicate. One of the best friends I've had recently commented on the post about our accident back in June. As always, he communicated how he supports and loves us. And I know that he probably always will.

Unfortunately for me, I just couldn't resist responding to the concept that we were in the Moncton ER for four hours because of some socialist agenda to oppress people through the health system. While I know my friend well enough to know he isn't purporting that, let me clarify a few things about the Moncton ER and go on about my health care reform opinion in case anyone reads my friend's comment (or this post) without my friend's level head.

True, we were in the Moncton ER for four hours, waiting to be seen by a doctor. True, it was frustrating. True, I would have thought that a pregnant woman having been in an accident would be top priority, even if she seemed fine. HOWEVER, it is also true that we were in the ER because we chose to go to the ER seven hours after the accident, just in case we needed to prove to our insurance company that everything was fine. It is true, too, that we told the triage nurse that we had no symptoms whatsoever. Even pregnant Natasha felt nothing abnormal: no spotting, no bruising, and our unborn daughter was certainly very active in the womb! Furthermore, when the triage nurse checked us out, she mentioned we seemed fine, though she highly recommended we wait. When we eventually left, she told us that she understood why we would want to leave and instructed us further.

While we were in the ER, a gentleman came in who seemed to have a second knee in his right leg. He got in immediately. A girl came in, having just had ACL surgery a month before, whose knee gave out less than ten seconds before her championship basketball game (which she won). She waited, but she got in. Another three families with young children waited, but the flushed, spacy child was rushed in. Another man who seemed fine was rushed in ahead of many other people. When he came out almost an hour later, the gratitude on his face and in his talk let me know his life had just been saved. There were about half a dozen people there who easily could have paid for private care, but there were ten others who seemed as though they would have been forgotten, had they been in a position to pay for their trip that night.

As an American living in Canada, I am proud of many things my country does, including engaging this debate. What I see right now in the President's eastern US tour makes me proud to be American. Finally, one of the politicians who's talked about this issue in a campaign is going to try to do something about it! How many more Presidents could we go through without seeing some action? People are finally seeing a leader lead on this issue, and we're all reacting. No matter your particular leaning politically or on this issue, I don't think anyone can say we've seen this type of initiative in health care in the US in my life time (almost 30 years).

As for this issue, I stand in strong support of President Obama's reforms, not just because I'm a Democrat. I support these reforms because it is an initiative that is for the people. I'm tired of listening to political banter over health care that seeks so greatly to benefit the government or businesses that people are left in the dust. I'm also tired of fear: fear that we might be forgotten, that we might not get the care we deserve, that we might find ourselves subject to a system that is one step away from Communism.

First, we should know by now that Communism is not the biggest threat for democracy. Actually, the two biggest threats I see to democracy are apathy and blindly following leadership simply because they have titles. Democracy is about a government for the people, by the people. In democratic nations we should all stand up for ourselves, for what we believe, for who we are, for how we think the people at large are best served. To claim dissatisfaction with our nations without taking action is undemocratic and, in my mind, foolish. If we ever lost democracy, ever lost our right to stand up and make a difference, we'd likely long for it. Yet, so few of us take a stand, and when we do, it's often the stand we think we should take because a party leader, religious official, or close relation with the strongest opinions and loudest voice tells us that's what we should think. To say that President Obama is trying to bring on Communism by reforming health care so that people at large can access it without remaining bound by their socio-economic class is a fear-ridden, right-wing agenda that is more concerned with returning to power than to serving the people who give a presidential office its power. (As for people who claim not to care, I dare them to go to a country with another system for a year and see if they miss what we have - to see if they really care about American democracy. We're in such a privileged situation that we actually think we can dismiss everyone who's gone before us to give us this life, pretending that the best way to avoid a flawed system is to ignore it and pretend it doesn't matter.)

Next, wondering whether socialized health care will give us the care we deserve is understandable. It's even understandable that people are afraid of it. The word "socialism" will scare any American who has gone through much social studies; American history is written to scare Americans away from the movement. It's also understandable to be afraid because President Obama's critics like to stress the exceptions rather than the rules. The rule in socialized health care is that we all have access to our doctors, to emergency care, to aid, and so on. Are there times in which we have to wait? Sure. Is health care worth waiting for? Certainly. We waited in Moncton because we were fine. A system that allows people barely in need of care to take a doctor's time when there are three others in great pain or near death still waiting outside is unjust. A first-come-first-serve system benefits people with immediate access to anything, including doctors. Money talks, and right now, Americans with money have great health care. The other Americans, the majority of them, make decisions not even to go to the doctor because they couldn't afford it anyway, and they wouldn't likely receive the same treatment as those living in "Rich White Suburbia." A system in which all people have equal access to health care irrespective of their income or their own perceived superiority (or at least, misconception of what they deserve before others) is simply immoral. Having now experienced two pregnancies, a wife with several health concerns, and several trips to the doctor myself (mostly for routine things) makes me feel relieved that I'm in a country with a system that allows me ready access to medical care. We have good doctors, wonderful access to health care, and my money can actually go toward debt reduction, our mortgage, our children, and our future instead of the medical system. Sure, we pay taxes for it, but that's the beauty of it: we all pay into a system that we all benefit from. Sure, we wait for health care, but let's get a reality check. The longest I've ever had to wait is four hours, and that's because we didn't really need to be there, we didn't go by ambulance, and we didn't push back as we would have if we would have been in direr circumstances. (Actually "socialized medicine" didn't do it to us. "Socialized medicine" is a non-entity, firstly, and secondly, we're not a victim if we can drive right in and check in with a nurse.) There are women and men in many countries who have to walk for hours, even days, for health care and end up waiting many more days for adequate care and attention. There are other countries in which many people don't even bother trying to find medical assistance; it's moot. Here in North America where we have it so good, socialized health care will actually be a welcome change for the good of everyone.

Finally, we cannot think that we'll be forgotten in the masses just because health care is socialized/government-run now. None of us can know precisely how our relationships with our doctors, insurance companies, and health care providers would change in a move from privatized health care to socialized health care. Neither can we allow the unknown to reinforce a picture we've conjured in our minds of our families sitting at home suffering with no one to help. As an American who started in that health plan who has lived in Canada for ten years in this health plan, I see little difference in my personal interactions with health care personnel. I have always received personal attention, helpful tips and prescriptions, adequate insurance coverage, and I've never had to sit at home hoping my sickness will improve on its own because my decision is light bill vs. medical bill this month. The fears I hear and see publicized among some Americans right now sells the wrong people short. Some of us Americans rail against President Obama, but our statements assume that in a new system, our doctors will stop caring, hospitals will stop admitting, emergency officials will stop treating, and insurance companies will stop paying. Would we say any of that to the people behind those titles? No. We wouldn't because we know those people, and we know they won't stop caring for us.

Health care reform is about a system that cannot continue, not people who, we know, care for us very well. Is socialized health care perfect? By no means! Canada, for example, has been trying to work out the kinks in this system since it was implemented. Every year it gets better, though. Every year the exceptions to the rule become less frequent, and there is light at the end of this tunnel. Since I suspect there will be many people who are exceptions to the health care rule that may respond to this post, let me give an example of why socialized health care is a good thing.

Early this afternoon, while applying a coat of paint to the walls in our kitchen, I listened to a broadcast on the CBC. A health expert based at Dalhousie University mentioned that the government had ordered 68,000,000 doses of a vaccine for H1N1, enough for Canadians to have two doses each, if necessary. Since I live in the province in which the latest outbreak occurred (only a two hours' drive from my house), also the province with the most reported cases, and since fall is coming, it feels good to know that my decision whether or not to be inoculated is about the vaccine, not about money. It's about what's in this vaccine, not about our system. Though our budget is very tight and we're climbing very slowly towards financial health, we can afford this vaccine, should we choose to have it, as much as anyone else who reads this blog - or even Steve Jobs, whose company designed this computer. It's a level playing field, and I like it.

LE

Long Days

2009-08-04T22:52:00.002-04:00

What is it about summer anyway? We so look forward to it, and it comes. We pack our days full of so much, and we love it! The days are long...not just outside, but inside, too. Why do we run around so much in the summer and find it refreshing, when doing half the running around in the winter is exhausting? Is there a scientific explanation for this? There should be. Someone smarter than me, what is it?

(Oh, and try my new find.)

LE

Bolognese Sauce

2009-07-13T08:48:00.001-04:00

Do you like a good, meaty red sauce in your Italian dishes? Try this one out.

LE

Vaca Day One

2009-06-30T08:57:00.002-04:00

It felt wonderful to wake up yesterday morning to a clean house and no schedule! We had planned to visit family during this week "off," so we set our ducks in a row, packed up, made sure the house was in shape for the people looking after it, and set out almost exactly according to our itinerary. It felt great!

Honestly, I had a major attitude problem by the time we got to Oxford. I was on edge, as if something about the day just wasn't right. On the other hand, everything was going perfectly, so there were no complaints in my books. Still, my attitude was just waiting to be set off.

The stage was set for my Tim's encounter with several women whose old age would have nothing to do with the story, unless one chooses to think they were age-impaired instead of downright rude. Sorry, let me fill you in.

Natasha needed a snack and I needed a "potty break," so we stopped in Oxford. I got cash at the Irving, walked over to the Tim's, and lined up behind about five people after my break. After several minutes I was next in line. I felt nervous because these two women who appeared to have been retired for at least fifteen years were slowly edging my direction, as if they had been in line the whole time. The gentleman in front of me ordered and stood to the side. Woman #1 stepped in front of me, approached the counter, and began to order. Of course her order was long and complicated, but I reminded myself that I had been the long, complicated order before. I took a breath, told myself it was fine for Natasha and the baby to sit in the car, that our vacation would not be hindered just because I had already been in line 20 minutes.

About that time Woman #2 stepped in front of me hastily, adding her order to Woman #1's order. The girl at the cash added the new order, adjusting the total, and obtaining the people's food. Honestly, I wasn't the most mature person in the world because I said, "I promise you that I'm standing here, even if you can't see me." The guy behind me laughed, but I knew it should have stayed in. Fortunately, these women were as deaf as they were blind, so the comment dropped to the ground unheard.

Woman #1 came back to the girl with a change to her order, which got a "You've got to be kidding me!" from me. At least this was under my breath. Again, our vacation is fine. Just fine.

As the two women stepped aside, allowing me to approach the counter, a woman two people behind me said, "Oh, can you add to your order? I'll pay you back!" Then another, "Oh, me too. Add this." The two women stepped back, added things to their order again, and I began to see that there was no hope for me ever to reach the counter. I was caught in a rude, deaf, blind old lady club that was determined never to allow me to order a yogurt and bagel. Or at least that's what I told myself as I muttered, "Frig this!" and stormed out.

We chose to go through the drive-thru, which was, thankfully, efficient. I learned a moral, though. Confucius say, "Man who drink Just Us! Guatemala blend with wife at home should not make Tim's coffee the next thing to cross man's lips." Whoa.

Anyway, let me just say at this point that EVERYTHING IS FINE. As far as we can tell, EVERYONE IS FINE. Repeat it with me: "Everything is fine. Everyone is fine." Great.

Now, the rain picked up once we left Oxford. Going through the Tantramar Marsh was insane! We were going between 70 and 80 (km/hr, for my American friends) with traffic the entire way. The rain let up, so we sped up. Then it picked up again, so we slowed back down. It was dangerous driving, but we felt like we were in a protective bubble or something strange. That's a good thing because near Memramcook we hydroplaned, lost control, struck a 5-ton truck, and lost the front end of our car.

Oddly enough, we did not feel much an impact at all. Everything in the car felt slow, calm, and okay. In fact, we had no idea what happened to the outside because there was no damage to the inside of the car that we could see. The baby woke up, but she didn't cry, she showed no signs of pain, but she stared at us with sleepy eyes, as if to say, "Did something happen?" Natasha felt no jarring, no pain (other than what she already felt from being five months pregnant with fibro symptoms), no anything. By a miracle, I'm sure, we got control of the car, pointed it straight, and parked it on the left shoulder of the Trans-Canada. We just sat there, 1000 things going through my mind. I double-checked that we were all fine, and I got out in the pouring rain to go meet the driver of the truck who was on the other side of the road, far ahead.

A Sears repair man happened to be going by and happened to let me use his cell, so I called my in-laws so they could come get us. An ambulance happened to be three vehicles back and saw everything unfold, so he pulled over with the Sears repair man and asked about our conditions. The truck driver was walking around, saying he felt little more than a sore leg that he told the paramedic did not need immediate care. I felt nothing at all, and the paramedic seemed unconcerned when he asked Natasha questions about her, Roya, and the baby. The RCMP happened to come quickly, took our information, and waited with us for the tow truck they called. Another tow truck happened to drive by, asking if we wanted a tow. Since this wasn't whom the RCMP called, we sent him along. Apparently he was just concerned because he saw all the parts everywhere on the road.

Natasha hadn't seen the outside of the vehicle yet. She apparently thought it was strange that so much fuss was made because, again, everything seemed fine inside the car. The tow truck came, told us to clean out the car because he doesn't think we'll see our Corolla again ( I LOVE MY COROLLA!!!!), and sent us on our way with my in-laws. The whole thing was very surreal.

Props to Wawanesa because we had a rental in less than four hours from our hydroplaning incident. The woman working on our claim has been wonderful so far, and we are grateful for the individuals and company we're working with.

Props, too, to a triage nurse in the emergency room at Moncton Hospital. We didn't feel anything, and Natasha showed no signs of injury, but we thought it was best to have her checked out, mostly because of the baby. We saw the triage nurse, registered, and waited - for FOUR HOURS!!!!!! And...WE NEVER GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!! We spoke with the triage nurse again after four hours, and she told us it was no better for the baby for Natasha to pull an all-nighter waiting to see a doctor than for her to see if there was any latent pain this morning and come back if necessary. It was a terribly long four hours, but I finished another book, and the nurse reassured us that Natasha is most likely fine, that the baby is almost definitely fine, especially because she keeps feeling it kick and move around.

So, day one is down. Natasha's major comment of the day: Why are we Erskines? Why can't anything normal ever happen to us? Good question. Let's just hope that if I write about day two it will be boring and short.

Position I Heard About

2009-06-18T10:04:00.001-04:00

This is a strange post coming from me, but I know several people who are trained specifically for Christian school education. If that's you and you're looking for a next step, I just came across this posting:

The Cape Breton Christian School is seeking to hire several full time teachers for positions starting in the fall 2009. Ideal candidates are committed Christians (Protestant or Catholic) with a passion for teaching and appropriate experience. This new private school launch will use a multi grade format and an engaging, Christian curriculum (visit: www.capebretonchristianschool.org to find out more). Applicants should send a cover letter, resume and reference list by July 1st to the CBCS Teacher Search Committee at graceyouth@ns.aliantzinc.ca or 22 MacDonald Cr., Sydney Mines, NS B1V 3L9

Yvette

2009-06-02T08:52:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a day I will not soon forget. The morning was bright and hopeful, the office-time was productive, we had good family time, and I got over 80% of our lawn mowed on one tank of gas. (The only downside was the way I kept thinking about our carbon footprint as I mowed down the would-be hay field that now looks like our backyard again.) It was one of those days that just felt right.

Though not near as thoughtful as my Larry King musings from last Thursday, I knew I would blog about Yvette in the middle of our conversation - part of what contributed to an overall fantastic day. Yvette is a woman I met at Suckling and Chase. It is rumored that Suckling and Chase is the oldest florist in North America still in their original location. If everyone gets treated the way Yvette treats us, I can see why that is.

Yesterday Natasha had one of those days when she just needed cheering up. Flowers can help, but it was one of those days when a quick trip to Superstore's flower section just wouldn't cut it. Yesterday required class, attention to detail, and something extra-special. I asked for Yvette as soon as someone answered at Suckling and Chase because she has served us so well before. She came on the phone, I asked her what cheery flowers they had in stock, and she told me. What struck me was that, despite being almost a year since I last bought flowers from Suckling and Chase and despite that I gave no name, she saw no face, etc., Yvette said, "Actually, I think your wife really likes those yellow roses with the red-orange tips, doesn't she?" How did she remember that? How did she remember Natasha so well? How did she know it was us? Because she knew exactly what would make my wife's day, I ordered the flowers on the spot.

Honestly, I can count the good services experiences I've had in Truro on one hand. It says something about a person and a company when three of those experiences have now been with Yvette from Suckling and Chase on Prince St. Cheers to Yvette!

Disappointed in Larry King

2009-05-26T10:04:00.002-04:00

It does not bother me when people have questions for God. God is big enough to be able to handle that. I am often disappointed, though, when otherwise intelligent people think poorly about God. I have enjoyed Larry King for many reasons throughout my life. (Most of my conservative Christian friends, relatives, and colleagues just disowned me.) I like that he is a radio pioneer, that he brought democracy into political conversation through national call-ins, and that he doesn't accept things without thinking them through. Larry King and I often disagree, but even disagreement doesn't disappoint me.

I've known for a long time that Larry King claims to be agnostic: he claims no belief in God. I feel disappointed because today on (my favorite) Q with (another favorite) Jian Ghomeshi, Larry King was questioned about his claim to agnosticism. Jian was surprised about it, which I was not. Larry surprised me because he mentioned that he had never found satisfactory answers from people of faith and deduced, as a result, that there must be no God. He continued to cite several examples of people who gave him dissatisfactory answers, including evangelicalism's hero Billy Graham. He said that no person of faith, including Billy Graham, had been able to answer satisfactorily about atrocities like the Holocaust and the 9/11 attacks, so he assumed his conclusion was correct.

I will not write much on Billy Graham's answer, since Larry only paraphrased it (though if the paraphrase accurately represented Billy, then I was disappointed). However, let me say that someone as intelligent as Larry King should be able to make a couple of intelligent distincitions. First, there is a difference between God and people. It is illogical to hold God responsible for problems that humans create. Problems like the Holocaust and the 9/11 attacks were not begun by God. They were begun by people. Fighting that takes place between churches and faiths did not begin with God; it began with people. Even interpretations of the Bible that seem so short-sighted and one-sided did not begin with God. Most of what we hear about the Bible is still human interpretation, hence the examples we can point to of spiritual abuse in the name of the Bible or God (like excusing slavery in the 1800s).

That paragraph barely addresses the real issue there, but what I find least logical in Larry's questioning of God is that he doesn't believe in God. If one does not believe in God, why does one suddenly bring God into conversations about the Holocaust and 9/11? If Larry is really an agnostic, why is he holding God hostage for human atrocities? If he doesn't believe God exists, why does he blame God so much? Why does he tell God, "My disbelief is Your own fault!" Who is he talking to with questions like that? Someone who doesn't exist?

C'mon, Larry, you're much smarter than that.

Multi-Tasker

2009-03-04T14:41:00.003-05:00

Men are not natural multi-taskers, so I hear. I began to agree with that statement until recently. I've often called myself a multi-tasker, but I've always assumed that my capacity to do that had more to do with my upbringing. I enjoyed my childhood, but there is no question that organization, obedience, and achieving tasks were all big deals in our home. I like being active, so being active and fulfilling my requirements at home required multi-tasking. I continued multi-tasking through college. Since then I've gradually decreased my tasks and, therefore, became less a multi-tasker. Now, with eight weeks until my semester ends, I find myself almost constantly multi-tasking. I don't think it's really a great thing, either. Even when I don't have to, I find myself doing many things at once. Sometimes I've even found myself thinking about three or more things at a time, even in my "down" time or personal time. Am I becoming a chronic multi-tasker?

LE

Brier (E. Pauline Johnson)

2009-01-26T12:55:00.000-05:00

Because, dear Christ, your tender, wounded arm
Bends back the brier that edges life's long way
That no hurt comes to heart, to soul no harm,
I do not feel the thorns so much to-day.

Because I never knew your care to tire,
Your hand to weary guiding me aright,
Because you walk before and crush the brier,
It does not pierce my feet so much to-night.

Because so often you have hearkened to
My selfish prayers, I ask but one thing now,
That these harsh hands of mine add not unto
The crown of thorns upon your bleeding brow.

Nothing Original for Today

2009-01-20T12:29:00.003-05:00

There is nothing original in a post mentioning President Obama today. I can't help but post anyway because I can't shake the thoughts and inner pondering I'm sorting through. It seems to me that, for better or for worse, we're all learning a significant lesson today. Will we, the Church in North America, see it? Will we be so concerned that he is unlike us that we'll dismiss this God moment, or will we ponder the significance of what is unfolding before our eyes? Will the southeast US (and some Canadians I know who would do well there) be able to support this leader and see how God might use this man, or will their own agendas cloud their perspective? What about my agenda? Do I really get it? I'm not sure, but I am excited. What a unique day!

LE

Survival Mode

2009-01-13T14:45:00.002-05:00

I am rarely intimidated. Even when I feel intimidated I am not easily bent out of shape. Today feels a little bit different to me, though. Today I am intimidated.

When I look at my life in the next fifteen weeks I see Intimidation personified in my mind. It stands before me in my mind's eye wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and a black tie. Its shoes are shiny and reflective. Of course I notice the shoes because I can't look Intimidation in the eye. If I did, I would be horrified. Eyes, a window to the soul, would simply be dark spaces an the otherwise expressionless face of soul-less intimidation. So, there I stand, staring at the shoes, watching my reflection stare back at me. I've tried looking up, but Intimidation blocks the way, so I can't see past it very well. So, I look back in the shoes.

Funny, though, how the picture changes as I stare. The longer I stare into the shiny shoes, the clearer things become. I am almost resigned to entering survival mode when I notice something bright behind me. It is the reminder of Hope. I am not alone in facing Intimidation. Natasha is there. Roya is there. My close friends are there. So is my church family. There are even a few people there that I'm surprised to see. It doesn't matter how big Intimidation looks, I can't shake this feeling that Hope is here. I'm surrounded by people - and by Hope. No matter how scary Intimidation can be, I remember that the One who is in me is much greater than Intimidation. "Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world."

Take that, Intimidation. Take that, survival mode.

LE

No Internet?

2008-12-21T22:15:00.002-05:00

I used to make fun of people who didn't have the Internet at home. I thought, "That sort of person still exists? It's insanity!"

Then our home computer crashed. Actually, it died. There is no hope for resurrection either. We lost our capacity to get online at home, so our personal time online has taken a nosedive. You didn't notice? Well, you can believe me.

What this means is that we're now a satellite-free, cable-free, Internet-free, newspaper-free home. Yes, we live under a rock. If it weren't for CBC radio, I'm not sure I'd remember what day it is!

LE

Irony

2008-11-19T22:38:00.002-05:00

I haven't had a good irony in awhile. It's a shame really. I finally got one today.

Background info: The forecast for today called for cloudy skies, 40% chance of rain, possibly snow in higher terrain, highs 5-7.

I woke up this morning, prepared to go to the Valley. I thought, "You shouldn't go." I ignored it.

As I prepared to go I thought, "Pack an overnight bag." I ignored it.

I drove to the Valley in the rain with a little snow mix, but only in higher areas like...the airport?...Windsor?.... Oh well, I ignored it.

I sat through one class very happily. I sat through another and looked outside after it was all over. I was no longer happy.

It looked like a snowstorm, but I wouldn't believe it. Even when I walked outside in it, I didn't believe it. Even when I left town, got on the 101 and drove as far as I could before stopping and crashing at the home of a generous couple who gave me their card in case this ever happened. It was the only phone number I had on me, and I'm glad for it! The radio said there were three inches of snow on the highway in Mt. Uniacke, traffic was backed up from Halifax to Wolfville, and it wasn't supposed to stop for a bit. Then they said, "Turn around if you can. Some of these people don't have winter tires on."

The irony: My winter tire appointment is tomorrow morning so I have them on before the big storm that's coming this weekend.

Clumsy Best Man Ruins Wedding

2008-11-08T22:47:00.001-05:00

Okay, this is hysterical!!

Trauma in the kitchen.

2008-10-27T19:40:00.003-04:00

Well, I survived a week without without my husband... barely!

Lynn was away for an intensive course at Acadia Div College. I kept our studio going, intensively cleaned the house, did some wood staining out on our back deck, and of course, looked after our little one :) I was so proud of everything I had accomplished, and was finishing up the kitchen on Thursday night... I decided to let vinager soak in the sink, since we have the white sinks that stain all the time (I am not a fan! - and vinager doesn't work by the way). I poured in the vinager, locked up, turned off all the lights, and went to bed.

I awoke Friday morning excited about my day. My cousin was coming to visit, I was hopefully going to finish my staining, and later that evening Lynn would arrive home!!! Carrying the baby downstairs to the kitchen, I put her in her high chair, went over to the counter putting water on for tea, turned to my right towards the sink and.............. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, floating in my sink, was A DEAD MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot begin to describe the horror that overtook my body! I jerked away from the counter, my head swimming with the realization of what I had just the seen, and the even more daunting realization that no husband of mine would come to the rescue. I and only I would dispose of this mouse! The clock was ticking, because my company arrived at 9:00 am.

I was laughing and almost crying due to the shock and trauma of these realizations. I grabbed the phone almost without thinking and called my Dad! It was 7:30 am, but thankfully they were awake. I said, "Come here quick, Dad, I need you!!!" :) Of course he lives two hours away and couldn't come to my rescue, but I felt better just asking. "What do I do???" I was regaining my composure as my Dad, Mom, and two brothers eventually made their way onto the call, all of us laughing at the situation I was in. I thanked Dad for his advise and told Mom I'd let her know how it goes :)

I couldn't resist, but also tried calling Lynn where he was staying in the Valley. I did reach him, after all, and told him to high-tale is hiney back home this instant :) Of course that was a joke as well and we laughed together, too. Lynn thought it was tremendously funny that I was left without a husband for this obvious "husband job" that had manifested itself.

All these phone calls were for the purpose of stalling more than anything else. Pour Roya was eating her cereal looking at me like, "Why are you going crazy, Mom?" I put on Lynn's big work gloves and searched the house for an appropriate tool. I was not going to go anywhere near that creature with my actual hand! I found nothing that satisfied my picture until I came across a cleaning bucket... I instantly received a genius idea...

Without hardly looking at the sink, I turned on the water so the level would rise slightly. I then dipped the bucket into the right sink and scooped the mouse in. I had papertowel ready to capture the drips and carried the bucket right outside to the compost. I lifted the lid and dumped saying bye-bye to pour little moussy.

I went back to the kitchen, greeted by a curious Roya, and disinfected our whole kitchen. I sat down at the table, quite proud of myself, putting the picture of the floating carcus out of my head, and continued feeding the baby her breakfast.

Wow! What a woman I am!! :)

Natasha

Another Goodie

2008-10-20T16:57:00.001-04:00

Hungry for something border-line naughty? You'll love the dessert we made yesterday!

LE

Can't Resist

2008-10-17T21:31:00.002-04:00

I know some of you have seen this on Facebook, but I can't resist posting this picture of Roya. We were hanging out at Nana and Grampy's house on Thanksgiving after Natasha left for the States. We were playing with a ball together, and Roya was getting quite expressive about her fun. I pulled out the camera and got lucky with this shot. Isn't she amazing?!

Also, don't forget to check out our new favorite soup.

LE

Hungry?

2008-10-04T13:22:00.001-04:00

Are you hungry? Check this out.

LE

Robbie Update 2 / Lynn Update

2008-09-09T09:55:00.002-04:00

Robbie update 2:

Well, the doctors seem unwilling to take the risk of trusting Robbie's healing... They recommend going ahead and putting the plates in anyway. My mom is facing a very difficult decision because putting the plates in means less mobility in the future, and potential weakness to the 4 & 5 vertebraes, which are higher up and more dangerous than where the original fracture was. However, fosaking the doctors advice and trusting the healing theoritecially has the potential to leave Robbie with life-time injury...

Please pray for wisdom and guidance in making this decision!!

Lynn Update:

An incredible thing has swept in suddenly and drastically altered our schedule for this fall and spring. Lynn began his Masters degree several years ago through Asbury's virtual campus (online). He completed all the required credit hours except those which have to be completed ON Asbury's campus in Kentucky. The plan was that after I finished my internship, Lynn was going to finish his degree... However!!! God radically picked us up out of everything we knew and dropped us here :) He has made every provision and given every confirmation that we are in His will. All needs have been met and details worked out... except for the dilemma of how to finish Lynn's degree. (This is also a matter of honoring our church for their expectation that Lynn is working toward ordination, which requires an M Div. But we simply cannot afford traveling down to Asbury for modular courses for the next five years trying to finish up that way!!!)

Long story short... We've been talking with Acadia Divinity College since it's nearby (~1hr30min commute), but not getting anywhere and unsure whether or not that's the direction the Lord was leading. ADC has been in the midst of leadership transitions, etc so things were not looking good... Out of no where however, we received a call confirming that Lynn was accepted (classes had already started!!!), they had worked out a plan for Lynn to finish all his requirements within 1 year, and offered him a scholarship covering almost all of our tuition fees!!! So within two days, Lynn became a full-time student and is commuting down to the Valley for the remainder of his M Div requirements, assuming all goes well, to graduate the end of this year!!!

This is going to be an intense year, but we are so relieved to have this weight lifted off our shoulders and the confirmation that God is still in control, leading and guiding us as we honor Him. Praise His Name!!

Natasha

Robbie Update

2008-09-04T10:45:00.002-04:00

Well, Tuesday came and went, and the doctors are "intrigued" :)

They took and X-ray, which unfortunately doesn't show a whole lot of detail, so a CT scan is scheduled for next week. The doctor said, it seems as though the dislocation (it was a fracture and disclocation) of the vertabrae may have somehow, maybe, slipped back into place...

They tested Robbie's motor skills, and there was no pain and perfect function in all areas of tested mobility. This is very unusual to the doctors since patients always have a lot of pain, cannot move, and end up needing surgery.

So, Robbie started high school yesterday, with a collar on (like a brace, but a soft faom-like material that frames his neck up to his chin and down onto his chest). Yay!!! The doctors are still investigating the situation, and are not releasing him with a clean bill of health until they see the CT scan next week, where they can view the vertebrae in better detail.

SO all is well, and God is good :)
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!

Robbie

2008-09-01T12:57:00.003-04:00

I have no idea how people started hearing about Robbie's accident, but here's the skinny :).

Well, being Robbie, (my adorably handsome, ridiculously talented, and endearingly clueless 14 year old brother), he was playing with friends at a pool trying to do some sort of "shallow" dive. Obviously, he didn't know what he was doing because instead, he went straight for the bottom!! He smashed his head into the bottom of the pool so hard he chipped a tooth and fractured a vertebrae in his neck, the sixth or seventh down I think. It was awful. He was in bed in the hospital, unable to move and wearing a neck brace. He's about to start his first year of high school and he's an allstar athlete (particularly hockey and football). The doctor gave Mom three options to choose from, all of which were terrible. God has been speaking to Mom, however, very intentionally about healing for some time now. She left Robbie to pray and ask God for guidance. She was simply not okay with any of the options given by the doctor!! She turned around and there was Robbie!! He had gotten out of bed and taken off his neck brace!! Mom rushed him back to bed, but he said, "Mom the pain stopped. I really think I'm healed." The doctor came back and Mom told him what happened. The doctor must have checked him over because he sent him home for the weekend. He scheduled another X-ray for Tues to be sure.

At this point, he's not doing anything until after the x-ray tomorrow. In the meantime, though, he seems to be radically healed!!! He can move and is not in pain. Just the fact that he's home without a neck brace on is evidence of something, since a fractured vertebrae requires intensive care, no movement, a neck brace for sure, and immediate treatment. I'll never know why God has his hand on our family as He does. Robbie has big dreams and God seems to be protecting Him for what He has in store down the road :) Isn't it wonderful to know that God loves us enough to redeem us even from our silly, careless mistakes?? We've all done those!! That's why he could say to the cripple, "What is easier to say, 'your sins are forgiven' or 'get up and walk'?"

Praise the Lord! I'll update after tomorrow's x-ray.
Natasha

Stranded in Boston.

2008-08-15T09:29:00.000-04:00

Lynn, Roya, and I have been in the Boston Logan Airport for almost 16 hours. We still have few more hours to go... 3 hrs and 15 min to be more exact.

Lynn is very good at planning trips. Using wise judgment, he scheduled lots of time in between our connector flights for passing through customs. HOWEVER, customs doesn't happen until the end of our trip when we fly into Halifax... So, we had several hours to kill in this nice but otherwise unexciting airport terminal. No big deal.

Then our flight was delayed... and delayed... and delayed... After many hours of waiting, with an exhausted and over-stimulated baby who wouldn't sleep, Lynn went to check the situation with our flight one more time... He came back distraught that it had been delayed another hour, and no sooner had he gotten that bad news out of his mouth than the loud speaker announced what we feared the most... our flight was CANCELLED!!!

The situation was this: no money, little to eat, a crying baby, already late at night, weather somewhere (but unseen) was interrupting flight schedules, new flight not until noon the next day, stranded in the Boston airport.

We picked up our luggage and called my parents toll free number. They agreed to lend us some money for a hotel and cab. HOWEVER, there was a huge lineup at the hotel information station and person after person left dejected as their were NO HOTEL ROOMS AVAILABLE IN ALL OF BOSTON!! Lynn worked diligently at seeking out the one room that had to be available somewhere in Boston, while I nursed and played with the baby. Sure enough, a room available... HOWEVER, the cheapest rate for the night was $425.00!!! That was a no go... needles to say.

At this point, I was thinking, "Other families are in much greater need right now. We're fine. We'll just camp out somewhere in the airport and have a fun little family adventure." The kind man at the information desk recommended the second floor of terminal B as the most comfortable place to sleep, so off we went.

Thankfully we had our luggage, so we were able to lay out a beach blanket, use towels for ourselves, and blankets for the baby. We chose a spot that seemed dark and quiet at the time... Eventually we got the baby to sleep and laid on either side of her to drift into peaceful sleep ourselves...

NONE TO BE HAD!!! The later it got, the colder and louder it got! The lights never dimmed, the loudspeaker never stopped, and the influx of people never diminished. It seemed as though people were yelling right on top of us while we slept fitfully and we soon realized we had chosen a spot (there were not many options) right beside the complementary internet station! By then, it was too late to move because it would wake the baby.

After a terrible night of very little sleep, cold, hungry, and irritable, (Lynn unfortunately got the least sleep of all of us) we rose to face the new day. Lynn went to find boiled water for the baby's bottle while I nursed. As I sat there nursing, hair disheveled and lines on my face, an airport employee walked by and said, "How'd you sleep." "Not well," I responded, as though he couldn't already tell... "You need to go down to information," he continued, "and ask them for a portable bed and they'll give you one. Say you have a baby and they'll give you a bed for sure."

I sat there dumbfounded. The very man who suggested this terrible place to sleep on the floor (my positive attitude had long since waned) was the same man who could have offered us a bed!!! And now this employee has the nerve to tell us we could have had a bed now that its morning and apparently, Lynn had seen him walking to and fro since 4:00 am. Lynn in particular was sitting up obviously awake... Why couldn't he have suggested it then???!!!

The day continues as Lynn and I are humorously cranky and continue to wait... I will close this post with a recent quote from my husband: I am going to assault anyone I see who has had a good night sleep. Here come two unsuspecting, well rested travelers...

One for the Books

2008-07-23T20:44:00.003-04:00

Tonight was our first date without Roya since she was born. A woman who attends our church offered to give us a break, so she came to our house and sat with Roya. That freed us up for a wonderful date!!! :) !!!

As you can see here,

Natasha met me when I came home dressed in a lovely brown number with cute hair, tasteful make-up, nice jewelry, and wearing my favorite perfume. We wanted to stay close-by, so we set out for the best night in months at the movies!

The things is, when we arrived at the movie theater, the lines were all very long, and we needed plot information. When we finally got to the front of the line, we were directed to another line where a girl with a binder would give us synopses. It turns out that there were only two movies with plots in which we were interested for our date night. The first was sold out until the late show, which would have gotten us home well after midnight. The other sounded great, so we went to the express lane to purchase our tickets. On the sign in front of the movies, it said, "This film is not yet rated." Thankfully, the ticket machine had the rating. It was 18A, which is on the other side of our movie rating boundary. So, we left.

We stood outside the theater, wondering what to do in Truro. There was a show at the Marigold, but it wasn't really our speed for tonight.

So, we drove around town looking for anything that we could do, telling one another we refused to be disappointed. Natasha finally suggested, "Let's go have drinks and dessert somewhere. We're on a date. Let's go ahead and cheat." So we did. What a fun, spontaneous, romantic idea!

We chose between two restaurants in town (both which will remain nameless for the sake of the one we chose) and drove to the spot. It was just after 7:00 p.m. We asked a few questions to the girl who was seating people about desserts. Though she seemed a little distracted and stressed, she did her best to answer the questions. She showed us to a table, but we wanted a booth. The booth where we were seated literally rumbled and vibrated because it was next to the big fan in the kitchen. We moved to the back corner. We noticed about 7:35 p.m. or so that the girl seemed to be the only one there. She was rushing around trying to help everyone, and we had yet to order. She didn't have many answers for us, but she did her best helping everyone. By 8:15 p.m., we still didn't have drinks or our order. The drinks came a few minutes later, and the desserts came after that. Natasha's dessert was pretty good. Mine was a little gummy and not as lemony as I think lemon desserts should be. It tasted old, to be honest. After sitting there for over an hour, having the waitress tell us they had no peppermint tea and end up with Tazo Refresh (a peppermint-based tea), and listening to her interaction with the tables nearby, we began to think this was funny. On a gut feeling, I asked if she was the only one there. It turns out that she was brand-new (hence still learning about products and menu options), was not supposed to work that shift but was the only one available, had been abandoned by an experienced server before the 7:00 p.m. rush, and was, indeed, the only one working (hence her demeanor).

So, what did we do? Well, everything closes early in Truro, and we were dressed up with no place to go. So, we rented a movie, came home to find our daughter beside herself (only five minutes into a tantrum, though) because she couldn't find us in the house and it was her bedtime, and took a picture of ourselves for this blog post. Aren't we pretty?

This date was one big flop - one for the books. Our first romantic evening without having to provide childcare has turned into an evening when we will curl up downstairs in front of our movie, at home, baby asleep, and babysitter at home. If that's not romantic, what is? In fact, I'm going to go now. :) It turns out that we have little to complain about. To the contrary, this date was just about perfect!

LE

Roya - Four months

2008-06-26T09:03:00.009-04:00

Well, we've had another interesting and adventuresome month with Roya, otherwaise known by some as Baby Rae :) (RAE - her anitials). She is captivating and beautiful and terribly smart. Poeple are always commenting on her intensity as she stares them down and studies their every move. Inwardly she's deciding whether or not she'll reward their silly banters with her glorious smile, or blow them off 'till she's more in the modd :) Her playful times are amazingly fun as she flirts and giggles, and makes the most hysterical faces. She's getting good at imitating our expressions and we have a blast just sitting there making faces at one another :)

Her routine at this point goes something like this... Wake sometime around 6:00 AM, nurse with Mama in bed. Finish nursing and snuggle with Daddy for a few minutes until she gets wrestless and Dad gives Mama a beautiful gift by taking Roya dowstairs so Mama can keep sleeping, or at least laying :) Sometimes, during this waketime, she gets to shower with Daddy. It isn't long, though, before Roya is sleepy again and ready to go back to bed. Well... and that is about the only somewhat consistent part of our day!!! :) She nurses ~ every three hours and usually gets fussy/tired after two hours of being awake. Whether or not she'll sleep, however, is what determines the rest of the day...

At our four month doctor's apt, we discovered a few very important factors to Roya's fussiness...

1) She has acid reflux, which I also had as a baby and young adult. Apparently, this is the cause of many babies' colick. It was discovered by her random "fake" coughs, almost like clearing one's throat.

2) She has not gained any weight since her 3 month apt. This is obviously a concern, but not a surprise. With the reflux, she was refusing to sleep. Because she was so tired, she wasn't nursing efecively and always falling asleep. She still had wet and dirty diapers, because she was eating; but the problem is that she was not eating long enough and strong enough to draw out the "hind milk" which is the rich, fatty part of the milk that puts the weight on. Nursing also disturbed the reflux, which caused a lessened appetite.

3) In the midst of it all, she has cut her two bottom teeth and still has at least two (the "fangs") moving through the upper gums.

So the poor thing has been quite disturbed. Not to mention, Mama has been "under the weather" herself which may have affected her milk supply. My blood pressure has not yet risen above 90/40, which poses some challenges, but isn't overall very serious. Thankfully, Lynn has taken over supper duty, which allows Mama to focus on other things.

So right now, the primary focus is helping Roya gain some weight!! She is taking some Nexium for the reflux, which will hopefully help her sleep better, then hopefully she'll nurse better. Life continues to revolve around long nursing periods, pumping, etc. :)

Well, be blessed friends and family!!!

Roya - 3 months

2008-06-04T19:06:00.004-04:00

Well, as one can imagine, my life has been immersed in motherhood since Roya was born. She is soooo beauitful to me and I cherish this time at home with her. She is quite the little character and has had a strong personality and will since day 1 :). Here is a little update on her...

Since Roya's first days, poeple have comented on how alert she is. Lynn and I tease that by three weeks, she thought she was all grown :) She loves to be a part of whatever is going on and even then (three weeks) was trying desperately to hold her head up on her own :). When you tell her she's beautiful, you will undoubtedly be rewarded with the most beautiful, girly smile :) Her smiles light up a room and her gigles and gurgles make my heart swoon! She is very playful during her good wake-times, plays shy and "flirts" with whoever is giving her special attention at the time, plays "tongue games" by sticking out her tongue and making funny faces, and loves to laugh with and talk to her friends the flowers that hang over her crib and change table :). She is now holding her head up quite well, sitting up on her own (with a little help:)), and grasping objects when I put them where she can get them. She loves her dolls and stuffed animal and is snuggly, though she prefers to be up and maving around at the same time. She just can't miss anything!

She LOVES to nurse and wants to almost all of the time!!! When her tummy is upset, her digestion difficult, or her body sleepy, she wants to nurse. I'm convinced she would stay there all day long if she could, napping throughout her light snacks :) Unfortunately... though Mama loves her snuggles and nursing times... Mama does have other things to do besides nursing and this does not always go over so well with the melancholy little one :). There are a few things that bring out Roya's temper: 1) Being cold. She loves showers with Daddy and baths with Mama, but hates when they're over and she's wet and cold!! 2) Getting dressed and getting her diaper changed. Both call for loud, torturous screams :) (though there was a period of time where she seemed to love getting her diaper changed and will still be mild-tempered when in the right mood). 3)Being put in her car-seat. She HATES getting strapped in seat because it means she's not going to be held, nor can she see anyone when driving in the backseat of the car. She used to always fall alseep to the movement once we got going, but that leads me to... 4) Falling asleep. Roya HATES falling asleep! The older she gets, the more alert and active she gets, the more she fights falling asleep. I can maybe count on one hand the number of times she has fallen asleep without crying, even when being rocked and snuggled! Sometimes she will refuse to sleep all day long, but she's so exhausted she won't play or sit or anything... She's desperate for sleep but hates it all at the same time... the result is alot of screaming :)

Even though Roya has a temper, and is quite particular about what she wants and when she wants it, and rather stubborn as all Erskines are, I cannot imagine life without her! I love that she is full of personality and strong willed. I love that she is dramatic and very much a princess :) She is our daughter, no question :)

I hope you all are well!!!
Natasha

The Unexpected

2008-05-08T21:56:00.002-04:00

"Unexpected" is likely the best word for the National Youth Choir experience so far:

1) I was asked at all. I know there are better pianists than me in Nova Scotia, but I was still invited to accompany the group. I wouldn't have expected that even if I were a recording artist!

2) It turns out the music is all a capella. I learned it so I would be useful in rehearsal, and I am - sometimes. :) Anyway, there was lots of internal hype on my part, but I was able to calm down a lot.

3) I'm still loving the experience. Somehow, not really playing anything isn't hampering the fun factor or the experience of it all. It's wonderful!

4) Serendipitously, I'm really enjoying the conductor and apprentice conductor. The former had quite a reputation for being a task master, but it turns out that most of the reputation seems unfounded. His reputation for greatness is well-placed, as he is indeed fantastic, but he's also quite generous and flexible within his high expectations of this group. He's been a delight every day! I expected to feel a lot worse about myself by this time in the week, and everyone - especially this conductor who is so much greater than I am - is contributing to a content feeling.

5) After last night I expected a lot out of the choir today. They are honestly great singers, and they really started pulling together into a great choir by the end of last night, but some of the singers were lazy today. It felt like we were pulling teeth to get everyone on board. And as Mark said at the end of the night, if 39 people are there and one isn't, that one makes the difference between good and great. It was a good day, but I expected great. Maybe tomorrow....

6) I got to talk to Natasha way more than I expected. So, so, so good. :)

LE

We Are One

2008-05-02T11:09:00.000-04:00

I was stricken yesterday with the events recorded in Joshua 22:21-30. In that part of the narrative, the two-and-a-half Israeli tribes whose land was east of the Jordan River were confronted by religious, political, and military representatives from the rest of Israel. The east-siders had built an altar, and the west-siders assumed that meant the east-siders would begin worshiping God their way, on their turf, possibly even including worship of other gods. They were ready to write off the east-siders if they didn't turn from their wickedness.

It turns out that the east-siders weren't being wicked at all. They suspected that the Jordan River would become more than a geographical dividing line, that the west-siders would think of themselves as a separate unit from the east-siders. Were that to happen, the east-siders felt they would be prevented from going to Jerusalem to worship, to share in the life of the Israeli nation. The altar was a reminder to both west- and east-siders that Israelis on both side of the Jordan River were still Israelis and should be accepted as such. People on both sides should be free to live as such, rather than treating one another like non-Israelis.

What struck me is how much this sounds like certain segments of the Church on North America (if not the West itself). I perceive there to be significant, understandable differences between the Church (meaning the universal group of believers in Jesus called the "Body of Christ" in 1 Corinthians 12) and the world (meaning those who do not believe). Scriptures are clear that faith line between the Church and the world is inevitable.

What the Scriptures do not say, however, is that faith lines between local churches, denominations, and individuals are inevitable. We have several humans in the Church, so we have many different experiences, understandings, and explanations of Jesus Christ. There are doctrinal and cultural dividing lines that separate some local churches, denominations, and individuals. Too frequently, these doctrinal and cultural divides have become battlegrounds more fierce than those created by our faith lines.

Why is that? As Christians, we even have a symbol - the cross - that should remind us that we have sisters and brothers in other camps around us. There are people in the family of God in Christ across our doctrinal and cultural lines that serve our God, who are not forsaking Christ. As the east-siders in Joshua 22 mentioned to the west-siders, natural dividing lines, whether geographical, doctrinal, cultural, or whatever, ought not to separate us. We aren't different people; we are one people. Our different camps/tribes aren't different nations; we're all the Body of Christ. There is no weaker, useless part of the Body, regardless of how unimportant or insignificant another that part seems. Each part has something to contribute, has equal rights in Christ, and has every opportunity for freedom to live as the people of Christ.

Since that is the biblical design, what can we do to extend peace to sisters and brothers in other camps, and how can we all join together to worship our great Lord together?

LE

Brief Update

2008-04-23T23:59:00.002-04:00

Before I go to bed at this excessively late hour, I thought I'd offer a brief update about what's coming up with us:

Roya:
- still sleeping through the night (most often, anyway)
- still learning to hold her head up and turn it at the same time
- has had a few fussy days lately, but Natasha says today was good
- pining to say "Dad" very soon.... :)

Natasha:
- just gave the heads-up that she's ready to start getting involved in things again, slowly, but surely (so I've already asked her to sing for two occasions)
- still at her parents' house to visit them and her sister's fam who's up from Chicago
- has three students competing in four classes in our town's music festival next week
- will sing in Mitch & Rebecca's wedding this weekend
- will be home very soon!!!!!
- will celebrate her first Mothers Day in three Sundays

Lynn:
- had a good time preaching Sunday
- loved the freestyle worship time on Sunday night
- preparing for CBC choral competition finals with Camerata
- preparing for our town's music festival next week (accompanying)
- preparing to accompany for National Youth Choir, beginning 05 May
- preparing to stand with Mitch this weekend

Okay, that's about it for now. Stay tuned. ;)

LE

Wearying

2008-03-25T11:58:00.002-04:00

I tend to be an opinionated person, and I seem to attract opinionated people. I can count my non-opinionated friends using my fingers. Nevertheless, Natasha has pointed out several times that one of the problems with our culture (faith-based and secular) is the overabundance of opinions. Everyone has an opinion, everyone thinks their opinion is right, and everyone acts on their own opinion, often to the exclusion of other opinions.

This occasionally rolls around in my mind when I read about worship and theology. Today, I read in the NLT, "But, my child, be warned: There is no end of opinions ready to be expressed. Studying them can go on forever and become very exhausting!" (Ecclesiastes 12:12). This is another way of stating the common "much study wearies the body" phrase that my college roommate and I would quote when we wanted to put the books away and play. This verse struck me today, though, because of its fresh approach. Most other English translations say something like, "There is no end to the making of books," but this translation calls it what it is. Opinion making.

Opinion making is both a blessing and a curse in our culture, but I'm going to pick on believers for a moment. Our opinions about God and about faith are wearying. More often than not, our opinions aren't really as much about God and our faith as they are about us. We haggle, struggle, argue, and bicker trying to figure out what the Good News really means, when we could be sharing the Good News with others. And when we share the Good News, we often stick to the Roman Road or Spiritual Laws when we could be actually describing what's good about Jesus' life, death, and resurrection - a resurrection that means that Jesus is still alive. In other words, He's still living, and He's still active. The Good News wasn't Easter weekend; the Good News involves Easter weekend and is played out as Jesus lives among us every day! It gets very wearying trying to sort things out in our minds in our effort to understand God. While there is great benefit in thinking coherently about God, if we could figure Him out, then what kind of God would that be?

Most readers of this post are saying, "Hmmm...that sounds an awful lot like an opinion." It is. Sorry to weary you with it. Instead of studying this, just take it for what it is and move on to the next opinion. If this opinion is close to right, the Lord will bring it back to you. :)

Guys

2008-03-05T14:12:00.002-05:00

There's nothing like "the guys." Things are good, but I really needed a good friend or two yesterday and today just for some peace of mind. Last night a very dear friend was just good, fun company. It was that kind of fun that says, "You know, we just need a breather from time to time." It was that good, innocent, very needed kind of night. Then today, a friend I wished I could call actually called me, and we had a good chat. It was meaty, but it was also real. One of those good kinds that leave you happy you could vent. It leaves me reflecting on how truly good it is to have those guys in your life that keep you firmly rooted in reality. It leaves me thankful that I have so many guys like that. There are many guys I can go forever without seeing, but in those needed moments, we know we're there for each other. This goes out to all those guys: thanks for being a Godsend!

LE

Victoria Park

2008-03-03T16:25:00.002-05:00

There is little in our town more thrilling than Victoria Park in any season. In the spring when the snow is melting, the falls are overflowing, and the green begins to poke through the dirt and snow. In the summer, color flourishes while the waters recede. There's a flurry of activity in every area of the park. We especially like taking our "loop" around the natural part of the park. Then comes the fall with the change of leaves and crispness to the air. The smell of leaves in the fall will always be one of my favorites.

Then you take today: very wintry, very white, ice and snow everywhere! The sun was out, making everything sparkle. This is what we all experienced for Roya's first trip to Victoria Park earlier today! Everyone, that is, except Roya, who was snuggled into a white, overgrown snowsuit and pushed into our Baby Bjorn carrier, face planted in my chest. So, her first trip was more about being outdoors and letting Daddy take a few pictures. Still, it was fun! :)

LE

Filling You In

2008-02-27T08:49:00.004-05:00

A good friend e-mailed me this morning to let me know our blog hasn't been updated after last week's big event. We were at the hospital with our new daughter, Roya Allison Erskine, till the weekend and have been adjusting to this new life ever since! Roya was born a week ago (Tuesday, 19 February) at 7 pounds, 10 ounces, 20 inches long. According to all the books and nurses, that's literally the exact average size. (It's about time something normal happened in our family!) As you can see, she is a beautiful little angel, and we're enjoying the new adjustment. She is nursing well, and both mama and baby are recovering well from the big day. She's already wrapped me around her little finger, so her toddler years should be interesting for me. :) Fortunately, we don't have to think about that right now. For now, we can simply enjoy our new family member's infant years. Hmmmm............

LE

A Week

2008-02-07T20:36:00.000-05:00

It's an interesting feeling to be just over a week till the due date. (I know what the ticker up there says; our date moved from 13 Feb to 15 Feb months ago, and we never updated it. We figured, what's two days?) I'm not the mother, so I won't try to express any of the thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations going on with Natasha. However, as a dad who already loves his unborn baby and talks to her regularly, this next week (or more or less) are going to be crazy. I can't wait to hold this baby, but I can't even imagine the labor experience. We've received tons of advice and have read up, but this is just another thing that we won't really know completely until we go through it. I'm supposed to be the birth coach, but what do I know? I know a lot about what the three books I've used have to say (and some from another book), but I still don't feel like I know anything. Yet, I look forward to it wildly!! I have no idea how to be a dad, but I feel like I'm already on my way and have something in me that just kind of "knows." Every day I think, "Will today be the day I get the call, that I am awakened, that I am - whatever - with the news of labor?" Sometimes I think that's great, other times I think, "This is not the time. Just let me get one more thing done." When it's all said and done, who cares how much I get done? We have a fine home for our little daughter, we're trying our best to prepare ourselves as parents, and (most importantly) the Lord is faithful and good and will be to our little one. What's not to look forward to?! Still, I'm stressed. (For those in gen psych, that would be both eustress and distress in one stressful ball.) :)

LE

Pure childish stubbornness.

2008-01-31T12:56:00.000-05:00

I am officially using this blog to vent out my current frustrations. Every now and then I get a flare of childish stubbornness and I've decided to share this one with the world.

Eating is the bane of my existence. Years ago, every time I ate, I just felt sick to my stomach. So what. I mostly ignored it and went on living in ignorance. Three years ago, things got bad and I had to eliminate all wheat (gluten), sugar, and dairy from my diet. I also had to eliminate red meat and all grains for the first little while. I had one year of marriage, learning to cook, getting used to my favorite recipes, and then... Nothing has been the same since!! Every year, every month, and sometimes every week our diet changes. We are constantly learning about new things and then trying new things. Constantly adjusting trying to find a way to make health a priority while considering budget and scheduling factors as well.

Somewhere in the midst of this pregnancy, I hit a wall of "I want to eat what I want to eat!" I want to eat comfort food like chicken nuggets and Lays original chips. I want to have ice cream and eat a dessert every now and then... I want to just eat something yummy and convenient rather than analyzing its nutrition content and spend 30 minutes preparing a simple snack! (slight exaggeration)

In some strange way, I have reverted back to my childhood days when I would sit at the table for hours with a pout on my face because I didn't like peas. Two things are different: 1) ironically I actually love peas now and hate everything else, 2) the culprit is not my mother but my husband!!

Is it so wrong that I long for routine? Is it so bad that I don't want to have to think so much about food? I want to just feel hungry and grab whatever there is to eat.

Just so you know, these rantings will all be moot in ~2 hours. I only feel this way for a short spurt and then submit back to the reality that my body has a mind of its own and cares what goes in it. Some things it accepts as nourishment, other things it rejects as poison :) Such is life :)

Respectfully submitted,
Natasha

Book #2 - INFIDEL

2008-01-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

INFIDEL is an autobiography by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, currently working in the States against abuse and oppression towards Muslim women by Muslims themsleves, ~38 years of age. It is a fascinating read as it reveals the inner culture of many Muslim countries and traditions, and reveals the fascinating journey of Ayaan's life from a devout Muslim to one of the leading spokesmen (women) in the Western world against Islamic tradition and abuse/oppression towards its women.

After growing up in Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia, and Saudi Arabia, Ayaan was arranged by her father to marry a Muslim man from Canada whom she, of course, had never met. She said no, but it was legitimately inconsequential what she thought or wanted in that culture. Thus, in the midst of her travels through Europe to fly to Canada to be with her new husband, she fled to Holland where she applied for Refugee status and set out to begin her own life.

Ayaan describes her journey from piety to "secularized" as she encounters a culture that goes against everything she was taught, and yet functioned with peace and order as opposed to chaos and war. She became intrigued by government and Western tradition and began to recognize the "inhumanness" of her own Islamic culture (mutilation of female genitals, inequality between male and female, etc.) It pained me to read as she experienced a crisis of faith and slowly but surely left faith for reason. She began to exercise critical thought and the freedom of free speech. She learned Dutch language, became a citizen of Holland, achieved a degree in political science, and began working as a junior researcher in the Labor Party.

When 9/11 hit, a passion began to burn within Ayaan for the Western world to understand Islamic culture and stop tolerating something that completely opposed its core values. Her opinions led to explosions of conflict in the otherwise tolerant and peaceful Holland. She joined the Liberal Party and spoke out as an official member of Parliament. She made a short movie entitled "Submission" with a man named Theo Van Gogh, meant to bring awareness to her cause. At this point, Ayaan was already being protected by bodyguards, etc, but Theo was not. He was brutally murdered with a 5-page letter addressed to Ayaan stabbed to his chest. The country almost fell apart in confusion, outrage, and fear. Ayaan was taken to the US for hiding.

She was then offered a job in the States, left Parliament, and continues her cause to bring awareness and freedom to oppressed Muslim women. Her views are some of the most explosive and controversial in the present age, and every moment of her life is under strict security supervision, as most of the Muslim world is set out to kill her for the "heresies" she so boldly says.

A more than fascinating read!!! I highly recommend it!
Natasha

Book #1 - Epicenter

2008-01-08T12:46:00.000-05:00

I have joined a fascinating group of women who gather together for my very first book club. I never imagined myself being a part of something like this, because in truth, I don't really like the act of reading... I do, however, love being exposed to some of the most interesting ideas, authors, etc. and the prospect of discussing them with a variety of women from different backgrounds and belief perspectives. (Truthfully, our belief systems are all quite similar, but the variations exist nonetheless).

The first book we decided to read is Joel Rosenburg's Epicenter. Joel Rosenburg is a fascinating man who wrote his first novel, The Last Jihad, just before 9/11. As the real life events following the strike began to unfold, Joel and many others started to watch eyes wide as the politically thrilling novel came true...

The facts are not exactly the same between novel and real life, but the lines of events are eerily similar. Joel has since written three other novels projecting political and economic events before they happen. He has traveled the world researching and interviewing political leaders influential to the series of events unfolding in our world today.

Many have asked Joel how he knows what's coming... down to incredibly intimate details, deaths, etc... In answering this question he often references "the third lens". He says that in order to understand current events in the world right now, you must look through the lens of politics, economics, and Scripture.

Joel has an incredible gift of understanding the prophecies in Scripture. This understanding combined with knowledge and wisdom regarding politics and economics allows him to see the state of affairs in the Middle East (the Epicenter) in accordance with the end times.

The changes taking place in our world right now are so fascinating!!! I have only reached the tip of the iceberg in what I have been able to see and understand, but I am convinced, both in my spirit as well as cognitively, that we are watching some of the very events recorded in Scripture regarding the end times unfold before our very eyes.

Natasha

Concerned

2008-01-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this note because I feel a big mixture of emotions. I have a beautiful sister who is very intelligent and gifted. She hasn't made the wisest decisions to set herself up to succeed in adult life, but she's overcome most of those decisions. She is a living testament to how a person's commitment to excel can shock people who think high school dropouts can't do anything in life.

Tonight she told me she is pregnant, but she didn't want to tell me because I might be upset. I'll be honest; there are too many emotions running around inside me to be upset. I'm thrilled that there's a new life and that our daughter will actually have cousins on my side of the family. (Ben told me he and Lynn decided not to have children, though I hope that doesn't last.) I'm relieved that my sister won't experience the pain of infertility and the cost of trying to find treatment. I'm shocked that she lives at home with my mother, her boyfriend still lives with his parents, and they're making adult decisions like having sex without facing the adult responsibility of bringing a new generation into the planet. I'm hopeful that she's going to continue working to finish her diploma. I'm anxious that her current educational status will limit her career and family. I'm scared that her boyfriend might not commit to helping her raise this child, leaving my sister to face single motherhood at the age of 20. I'm bothered that she still hasn't been to a doctor and that she has no insurance, living in the US. I'm hurt that my sister still feels like she has to act perfect around me - a side effect, I'm afraid, of my over-involvement in her upbringing. Finally, I'm emotionally spent while I think about what this means for her and the family down south. This is exciting news, but I'm very concerned.

LE

Hallmark Christmas

2007-12-31T18:01:00.000-05:00

Tonight in Nova Scotia we are preparing to celebrate the close of 2007 and to kick off another year. Snow and freezing rain have fallen most of the day, enhancing the close of the Christmas season with the wintry landscape that inspired "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas." Dreamers and crooners everywhere fell in love with today, while somewhere an obscure poet wrote about how fitting this all is.

It is in this idyllic mood that we found ourselves at the mailbox today to read about a true Hallmark Christmas. Yes, for the few of you that actually know my dad, his Christmas letter arrived today. And in true holiday fashion, he entitled his epistle "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding." He's always been a poet - among other things.

Some of you have heard me say before that the movie "Big Fish" is about my dad. The first time I saw the main character on the movie I thought, "Hmmm..... He's just like him: witty, wise, active, charming, creative, and a windbag." Yes, windbag. They say today's wind came from a Nor'easter from New Brunswick. I know better. My dad, whom I love dearly, has finally begun to open his grinchy old mouth again.

Merry Christmas, Dad. I love you very much. This one's for you - :)

LE

December

2007-12-12T16:28:00.000-05:00

A comment from a friend reminded me that we haven't blogged in awhile. It's easy to let Facebook pacify the update need when things get "busy." This will be a little more substantial.

For those who don't know yet, the biggest news in the last several weeks is that we found out our baby is a girl! She's very pretty, too! :) Her heartbeat is strong and fast, and she has a fixation with sleeping with her feet up over her head. Our more "realist" friends keep saying, "Her bones are like rubber right now." The rest of us tend to think that she might be a dancer, an athlete, or something. :)

This month has been much more active than we anticipated. I was happy to be involved in our community choir's Christmas musical last weekend. We had a fantastic time producing a Nova-Scotia-written musical based on the Fezziwig's from Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." Tons of fun! (I'm glad it's over, though, because I have several more hours in my week.) :) This weekend is our joint performance with St. James Presbyterian of "Agnus Dei: Lamb of God Born to Us." (It's a Christmas concert of worship.) Next weekend (the 21 and 22 December) is Symphony Nova Scotia's performance of "The Messiah." Add to that Natasha's birthday on Monday, our anniversary next week, and Christmas, and this is an action-packed month!!!!

Before anyone asks, we have no idea for a baby name yet. We have a list going, but we probably won't give any hints yet.....

In other news, I've been thinking a lot about "testing the spirit" of people who claim and even manifest Spiritual gifts. I know a handful of people who are certainly gifted but who have some pretty serious issues that they refuse to face. (Lest anyone begin guessing or name-dropping, these are a handful of people from various places at various points in my past and present.) It always intrigues me how some of these people claim to be so in touch with God because of their spiritual gifts. Meanwhile, the fruit of their lives doesn't quite resemble love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control - the fruit of the Spirit. It occurs to me that fruit is really the only way we can tell a "good tree" from a "rotten tree." Trees that bear fruit are rooted in God - not necessarily trees that manifest certain duplicable activities. Again, this is the beginning of some interesting thoughts that are going through my head. I'm looking for fruit in my life and in the lives of others. It's interesting what I see....

Vaca

2007-11-19T12:26:00.000-05:00

Lynn and I are currently in Toronto Airport. My sister and brother-in-law are flying us to visit them. We are very excited for the opportunity to spend time with them and our adorable niece and nephew.

It is a little ironic that we are going to the States (Chicago, IL) where we will celebrate American Thanksgiving, when Lynn will be the only American there. It really makes us miss his family. We are already planning ahead for next Christmas in Delaware, and looking forward to some Erskine holiday fun :). There is talk of visitors coming when the baby is born... That would be exciting!

Well, hopefully we'll have some fun stories and pictures to post when we return from this vacation. You won't want to miss them! :)

Natasha

Some Long-Awaited Shots

2007-11-13T21:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, folks, these aren't professional, but they'll give you a good start. Natasha is as lovely as ever!!

LE

Ramblings.

2007-11-11T19:47:00.000-05:00

Speaking of not posting very much... It feels like forever since I last posted, likley because my mind has been so scrambled I don't know that I have anything of interest to say...

I am currently sitting in our family room on our rather uncomfortable but blessed couch in front of our propane wood stove that has been putting off beautiful heat on this cold day, drinking, not the usual herbal tea with honey, but rather Gatorade. (Gatorade has become my lifeline in recent weeks because of its electrolytes that keep me reasonably hydrated and a little more energetic.)

It was the most wonderful thing to wake up and see snow out my window this morning! I LOVE SNOW!!!! It remnds me of Christmas and hot aple cider, and decorating for Christmas, which reminds me of my birthday when we put up our tree, which then reminds me of our anniversary which happens in the midst of it all... December holds many exciting moments of twinkling lights and sparkling snow... The consumerism is a whole other thing, but I love the special family times, the parties and Christmas gatherings, the delightful presentation of everything, and the way our precious Atlantic provinces get white washed in sparkling snow. I just love it!!!

I think the Lord loves it when we celebrate; however I do think he gets a little lonely at Christmas time. He instituted so many feasts and festivals for the poeple pf Israel and then the Lord's Supper for his disciples... but they were all meant to be celebrations in remembrance of Him. I don't care if the world remembers Him so much because why would they remember and celebrate someone they don't know? I don't blame them for not being al about Jesus just because it's Christmas. But I do think I fall short of remembring Him during the season. It's not so much His birth... if it were all about His birth, then I would much rather celebrate His resurection!!! But I think He wants us, ME, to celebrate His presence, His promises, His Word... that He is among us and will never leave us nor forsake us.

I have been thinking about things like holiday seasons and other "in the world" issues because of our upcoming task of bringing up a child in the way that he/she should go. "As for me and my house, we wil serve the Lord."

Help us, Father to lead and guide our family in all wisdom and understanding by your Holy Spirit. Help us to be grounded in Your Kingdom, not the kingdom of this world with its upside down values and destructive habbits... but may your love radiate in our hearts that they might see you and glorify your name.

Well, in all things, God is at work in us! So here we go, one day at a tine.

(Natasha)

More Time

2007-11-06T15:23:00.000-05:00

It seems more time passes between our posts lately. It reminds me of the summer, when we seemingly had so much free time! I remember thinking to myself, "The fall is going to kick in with a vengeance; I hope we're prepared for the adjustment!" It's been a good adjustment, but we're not posting as much. I could get into the philosophical implications behind how we spend our time, or I could whine about not having enough time. Instead, I'll face the fact that we have tons of time and give a brief update:

1) This is an exciting week because of the Symphony Nova Scotia Remembrance Day concert taking place Sunday night. We're performing Brahms' German Requiem, a requiem based on Scripture rather than on the traditional Catholic mass. It's a beautiful piece with some beautiful text! You can buy tickets online through the SNS website.

2) Natasha is no longer participating with the Cantabile Singers in town because she needs to spend more time taking care of herself and our unborn child. We're doing a music theater event, so stay tuned.

3) Post-Tropical Storm Noel (a name I frankly find funny - like "the storm formerly known as a hurricane) was a little scary, but it did little damage to our home. However, my favorite tree was almost destroyed. After a little yard work yesterday, I think it's salvageable. We lost no power, so that was a huge blessing!

4) Natasha's worship leadership at the Convention's pastors' wives retreat apparently went well. She enjoyed the speaker and times of worship. I'm glad she's home. :)

5) Baby seems to be doing well. We're going in for a check-up because we're having some weird pains. Don't panic though; no one else seems to be. Just pray. :)

6) I'm late to give a piano lesson, so that's all for now. :)

LE

Nothing Normal

2007-10-22T10:29:00.000-04:00

If you know us at all, you know how frequently I say, "Nothing normal ever happens in our family."

Today's 24-week check-up was good, very good. Everything went smoothly until Natasha's blood pressure was low. That would seem bad, except that our doctor prescribed her to have caffeine! She recommended coffee, especially. I was elated; Natasha just looked at me as if to say, "Don't gloat." Who knew that after six years of attempting to make Natasha a coffee drinker that one day her doctor would prescribe it? While our prenatal coach says to limit caffeine, the doctor says, "Not now." This is indeed a good, good day. Maybe I'll eventually find a Keurig coffee maker in my home after all some day?

LE

Fall Update #3

2007-10-09T09:01:00.000-04:00

Personal Stuff:

1) Most obvious of our personal updates this Fall is Baby Erskine growing in my womb :) Baby is now weighing a whole pound and is putting some fat on his/her little body. Baby moves around, sucks his/her thumb, and is slowly but surely taking over my body :) I couldn't believe it when I noticed my non-existent belly-button the other morning. Things are starting to get tight in there!

2) Also about Baby, Lynn and I have finished our first set of three prenatal sessions. There are 10 young couples in our class, all of whom are due right around the same time as us. The busy schedule has been a little tiring, but we've loved getting to know and share stories with other couples in the same or similar boat.

3) Other wonderful news is that the Lord is also providing the things we need for Baby when he/she arrives. It has been my personal favorite thing to write down very specific needs that we have and then leave them in the Lords hands, knowing that He will guide me in the purchasing, or provide some other way. I keep crossing things off my list because they just fell across my lap. Thank you Lord!

4) In general, we are growing and being stretched to be sure; but we are also in a safe place with loving friends and family nearby, and a supportive and caring church body. I've never known a church to be so in tune to our needs and ready to help. We are truly blessed, and so enjoying our new friendships here.

Well, be blessed!!!
Natasha

Fall Update #2

2007-10-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

Church Stuff:
1) Lynn and Pastor Kaj (Pastor of seniors and visitation) were officially "sworn in" to the Immanuel body at their Induction Service mid-Sept. It was a beautiful ceremony that has been a tradition here and we had many friends and family celebrate our fellowship here. A picture of the two pastors and wives found its way into the Truro Daily News and we continue to receive congratulations throughout the town! (Even though we've been here since January!)

2) The day following the service, we hosted an Open House for the church body (and whoever) to come and see our new home and visit with us. My Mom and Dad, brother Robbie, and maternal grandparents graced us with their help. I'm not sure we could have pulled it off otherwise! We had quite a party and it was a blast. Thanks to everyone who was able to come and who brought unnecessary but appreciated gifts!

3) Our church has combined efforts this Fall to push the ALPHA program here at our church. God continues to draw new believers to himself and stir up a passion for evangelism in and outside this effective program. There are over 50 signed up this Fall, plus many leaders and helpers from our church. This is a powerful ministry we stand behind as prayer warriors! We also help out in one of the small groups when available.

4) I am especially excited for our Christmas Cantata this Fall. Our choir has such a beautiful sound and we are joining with the Presbyterian Church in Town to present a cantata arranged by David Hamilton and based on Micheal W. Smith's song Agnus Dei. It is soooo beautiful with powerful Scriptures dramatically narrated throughout... Can't wait!

5) Several people from our worship department here attended Willow Creek's An Hour on Sunday worship arts conference with Lynn and I. It was fabulous and refreshing! We were challenged, encouraged, and inspired. The following week, we had a debrief meeting that was just the beginning as many of our passions for worship arts were stirred. May God give us wisdom to proceed according to His will giving honor and glory to His Name!

There is much more to say about our church regarding small groups developing, and all kinds of ministries where God is stirring. However, suffice to say, the Lord is in control, leading and guiding us as a congregation, building us up in His Word and bringing us to our knees in His presence! We are thrilled to be a part of God's kingdom plans for Immanuel and this community.

End of Part 2 :)
(Natasha)

Fall Update #1

2007-10-05T12:43:00.000-04:00

Well a busy September has flown by and October has brought a fresh, warm breeze our way. It's just fabulous going about October in flip flops and a T-shirt!

Well here goes:

Community Stuff:
1) The Camerata Singers of Halifax lost a baritone and asked Lynn if he would join them this Fall. He started singing with them early September and has "found himself" all over again amidst the early music tonalities and live symphony instruments :). I soaked in one of their concerts this past weekend and thoroughly enjoyed the rich tones, fugues, and overall Baroque sound. Yay for Lynn!

2) Lynn has also been recommended for a "dream" accompanying opportunity. The Lord seems to continually open doors for Lynn in the musical community around us. It is so wonderful! Neither the offer nor his acceptance have been confirmed; but we covet your prayers regarding this opportunity for Him.

3) The Camerata Singers are a part of the larger Nova Scotia Symphony Choir in Halifax. I hesitantly joined [SNS] for one of their concerts this Fall, Brahm's Requiem. It's quite a commitment to travel and rehears, etc, but I decided I was finished watching Lynn enjoy all of the fun :). I am absolutely loving it as I refresh and develop my German, and continue challenging my voice.

4) We are also busy learning music for the Cantabile Choir we are a part of here in Truro. We have a concert this October and then a Fezziwig Christmas performance this December. We are beginning to make stronger relationships with those in the community and enjoy these opportunities to explore our talents together.

5) Lynn has been building strong relationships with the other music directors (under varying titles) in several other churches in Town. Our church choir is so pleased to join with the Presbyterian Church for our Christmas cantata this December, to be presented at both locations. We are also building strong connections with Jeff Jodrey at the First Baptist Church who directs two of the choirs mentioned above. Chris and Laura Bowman from the First United Church are becoming some of our closest friends! We are excited to celebrate Chris' CD release this next weekend, on October 13th (another little plug!)

There's is much to tell and little question as to whether or not God has brought us to this place. His favor seems to follow us wherever we go as we carry His Spirit into all of these things. (The craziest thing is that almost all the music we do in these "secular" choirs are either Scripture or sacred music! We just keep worshiping!)

End of Part 1 :)
(Natasha)

Baby Erskine

2007-09-25T15:16:00.000-04:00

Active

2007-09-24T21:30:00.000-04:00

We had our September doctor's appointment today for Baby Erskine. Among other things, our doctor attempted to listen to the baby's heart rate with her dopplar instrument. She tried for several minutes, indicating a lot of static and trouble hearing the heartbeat. "There it is!...Oh...Hmm...," she'd say. We heard maybe a beat or two. Then she said, "The baby is rolling around, I can hear that!" Then after several more minutes, "Okay, those bumps are the baby kicking the dopplar." Finally, she said, "Okay, a baby who keeps kicking obviously has a heartbeat. I'm just going to write 'active baby.'" Active baby. That apple isn't going to fall far from the tree. ;)

In other news, our big ultrasound is tomorrow. We're not going to find out the gender. Natasha actually thinks she's okay with that, so we're just going to see our baby tomorrow and wait for the surprise. Sorry to Ang and all you other blog-reading, gender-interested friends.

LRE

Preganacy Insanity

2007-09-09T16:22:00.001-04:00

I am currently reading a book a friend lent me from church called, "My Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy". Needless to say, I don't think I will ever be the same again :)

This afternoon I was reading a chapter called, Pregnancy Insanity. It starts off by saying that some pregnant women may read that title and assume it does not refer to them. They are the exception because they still feel rather normal. It continues, however, to reassure the pregnant women of one very simple truth: Crazy people are always the last people to find out that they're crazy.

When people ask me if I've had any cravings, I typically respond, "Well, no, not really. Other than some aversions, I eat about the same things I did before. I have this diet, you see, and well... I can only eat certain foods anyway so I guess that's why I'm not really having cravings."

When women ask me about the nausea, and whether or not it is subsiding, I typically respond, "Well, its hanging on, but its manageable. I just keep eating little snacks throughout the day and I'm just fine."

Then, some women pull me aside with that knowing and concerned look on their faces asking, "How ARE you?" as though I should instantly burst into tears. In these situations, I have typically responded, a little perplexed about their concern, "Well, I'm doing really well. I'm very tired; but for the most part doing great!"

I am discovering, however, that some people are asking these very same questions to my husband ...and he seems to have completely different answers!!!

Am I having cravings they ask... "Yes!" He exclaims. Apparently I am craving spicy foods, things like nachos with salsa (never without), this pasta dish with homemade, spicy marinara sauce we make, etc. I guess things are a little clearer from his perspective :)

With the nausea and emotional stability, I am a little up and down, but thankfully, we both agree that I am doing fine :)

(Insert note from Lynn: I do think Natasha's doing fine, really, particularly considering the horror stories that everyone feels will encourage our pregnancy. Compared to the majority of the people who talk about their pregnancies, Natasha's is great! However, it's little things like her "non-" cravings and when she lays in bed talking to me with a sparkle in her eye saying, "I'm really exhausted and need sleep!" that leave me puzzled. That and how worked up she gets about things. She said earlier today, "I feel like I'm on speed." All I could say was, "Mm-hmm.")

I guess I am to some degree experiencing what "the Girlfriends" call Pregnancy Insanity. I suppose my emotions and likes or dislikes have been a little extreme... I do sometimes feel like I'm wearing fuzzy glasses and have to squint to see the room clearly... Or I feel like I'm frozen in place due to all the anxieties of the rest of my life hitting me all at once... I also feel like somebody stole my body in the night and replaced it with something dramatically different that plays nasty tricks on me and always keeps me guessing about whats coming next...

Anyway, Pregnancy Insanity...

Sweetly Scheming.

2007-09-01T20:10:00.000-04:00

Technically... we're not able to find out the gender of the baby in Nova Scotia. However, I am determined to be shrewd as a serpent and innocent as a dove :) I really want to find out!!! I'll be scheduled for the ultrasound in a couple of weeks, around September 20th.

So we shall see!

Natasha

A few pics.

2007-08-31T15:33:00.000-04:00

Here is me, bare-foot and pregnant in the kitchen :).

Here is a closer-view belly shot, though I'm not showing enough for it to be super obvious:

And here is my handsome husband tearing apart the overgrown trees and bushes in our overwhelmingly "gardened" yard:

It sounds like we're from the 1950's, fulfilling our perfectly appropriate marital roles... no such luck :)

Too Tired.

2007-08-31T14:47:00.000-04:00

One of my hidden quirks is that I sometimes find myself hysterically funny. I know you would never guess it; but really, my sense of humor (that rarely leaves the inside of my brain) is one of my favorite things about myself :)

This quirk in particular seems to intensify under serious lack of sleep... This makes my future in motherhood look very interesting. It is only under serious lack of sleep or highly effective drugs that I would probably ever post a blog such as this! But I am just deliriously delighting in myself for no other reason than because.

This has come to my attention today because I just wrote something in an e-mail that cracked me up... Yes, I am laughing at myself. Even worse, you may not find it the least bit funny :) But, in my current state, I am perfectly comfortable with that.

As an expression of how I feel today, I wrote:
I sometimes feel like a huge boulder the size of the sky is coming toward me ready to swallow me whole... That's an exaggerated expression of how I feel about all of this change in my life all at once :)

Blessings!
Natasha

Some of August 2007

2007-08-21T21:38:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from August.

-We spent a weekend with some friends in "The Valley", explored Cape Split (absolutely gorgeous!), and randomly visited a goat and llama farm.
-We also received a visit from our dear friends, Adam and Heather Durkee. They came all the way from Virginia just to spend a day with us :) (jk!).
-We received a long awaited visit from my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew, who are fabulously wonderful.
-Our good friend Shannon Skafte took some beauitful pictures of us at the Tangled Gardens in Grand Pre, NS, on our way home from Convention last weekend.

Enjoy!

Cool Slideshows!

The Conquer.

2007-08-17T13:34:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let you know that, after much scheming and strategizing against the enemy, we have conquered the fruit flies!

Many of you offered wonderful advice, but the war tactic that has proved most effective is this:

Take out a glass. Half-fill it with apple cider vinegar. The strong smell will attract the fruit flies. Put some dish soap on your finger and just swoosh it around in the vinegar. This (obviously, as my husband says) breaks the surface tension of the vinegar. That means that the fruit flies can no longer land on it. So... they drown! We have plastic wrap over the top with fruit-fly-size holes in it. This is so they fly in and then can't get out. They fly around for a while until they have to land, and then... they drown!!!

Happy hunting all you fellow fruit-fly-haters!

Natasha

Things you may or may not want to know!

2007-08-12T21:01:00.000-04:00

Wow, I'm really pregnant!!!!!

So, I know I haven't posted pictures yet; it's because I feel a lot like my house right now... unkempt. I promise they will come.

But I am totally showing!!! My belly feels huge and I love it!!! I officially don't fit in any of my old clothes and the few middle-ground WalMart options we purchased are no longer satisfactory. (They still fit, but they're not enough. Really I desperately need preggo pants.)

So while Lynn and I were in Halifax for the Leadership Summit (which is a whole other topic and was amazing!), we went shopping for a Maternity store. I was so overcome by how cute everything was!

I tried on several options and fell in love with a number of different outfits. While I was trying them on, though, the store clerk said, "You should try them on while wearing the belly pillow." Then I realized that the strangely shaped white thing I had vaguely noticed on the chair in the corner of the change room was a makeshift belly so I could see how well the clothes would fit until the end of my term. (Captain obvious here.) Lynn agreed that I should try the outfits with the belly pillow. I felt a little silly, but thought, "Yes, that would be a very wise thing to do."

The problem, though, is that I am a very slow processor... I was just adjusting to the idea of having a growing belly, in a maternity store trying on real maternity clothes. When I strapped the belly on... well it kind of shocked my system...

I took one look at myself in the mirror and burst into hysteric bubbles of laughter and tears. I'm not sure how loud I was, but Lynn began laughing from outside the change room. I couldn't come out... I felt nervous and embarrassed, while feeling excited and anxious. Lynn finally peeked in which made the convulsions worse. I tried to go to him to lean in on him the way I tend to do when I feel embarrassed or shy, but then... I bounced!!! The carefully crafted pillow snugly tucked beneath my maternity outfit hit his midsection just as my forehead reached his chest... and I bounced back!!! This of course increased the bursts of spasmic laughter as it shocked me even further...

This was quite a fun experience. I had to take out the belly to calm down again and remind myself that I don't have to jump to month number eight, but the Lord allotted time for people like me who desperately need it for adjusting during periods of drastic change.

So I am thrilled to be showing, and love being pregnant! But I am also thankful that further growth will come gradually. It is a scary thought that one day in the not too distant future this child is going to be too big and need to come out of my little body!

Just in case you were wondering, though... I may be small, but have good birthing hips! :) (Okay, so it's not the hips so much; but I don't know how awkward it is to write about personal body parts on a public web log... The term "hips" seemed the safest at the time.)

God bless!
Natasha

Help Wanted.

2007-08-03T12:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, what's the deal?

How do you get rid of fruit flies???!!!

I'd really like to know.

Natasha

Update.

2007-07-30T08:49:00.000-04:00

I am working as receptionist at the church this week, covering for Pastor Peter and Lottie's vacation. No one is in the office except for me and Lynn (though his is down the hall), and, in the context of being very professional, we're having a blast :).

Little Erskine and mommy are growing very well. I am 11 weeks along, and looking forward to fitting into my new clothes. Right now everything is either too small or too big for my little tummy :)

Lynn and I spent Friday and Saturday as guests at Fox Harbour. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Saturday afternoon, several families from the church came over for a worship team party. We BBQ'd and went swimming in the SPA, and then Doris and I walked the beach along the coast of the Northumberland Straight, just across from where my family live on PEI.

We arrived home late and woke up early (though not early enough) for church Sunday morning, during which I was leading worship and Lynn was preaching. After church, we had a BBQ at our house with 4 young couples, 10 people in all! It was a blast, though the heat was scorching.

Around 3:00, my parents and two brothers arrived, one looking very much like a cave man (Joel - he works at Cape n' Rage). Much to my delight, they brought with them my aunt's crib and set it up in the baby's nursery! Yay!

We all watched the old Hugh Grant movie, Nine Months, and laughed hysterically. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching it for some light humor regarding pregnancy and delivery.

This last coming month of summer is a busy one and exciting one. We hope to post some updated pictures soon, though I'm waiting as long as possible until our house looks somewhat put together for you to see :)

Lots of love!
Natasha

Showing

2007-07-27T20:37:00.000-04:00

We are at Fox Harb'r (www.foxharbr.com) with the Faheys. Ralph showed me around the resort after meeting a few of his friends, and now we're showing Ralph and Doris around the web. So, if you're online tonight, make sure you say hello! (We're hosting, after all. Make our friends feel comfortable!) :)

LE

Our Little Erskine!

2007-07-24T14:57:00.000-04:00

We just saw our baby!!!!!!

We had an ultrasound today to confirm that we have a live pregnancy and to discover how far along we are. We don't find out the details until my doctor's apt this Friday, but we still got to see the baby and it was so amazing!!!!! He/she is sooooo cute and was dancing around and has a strong heartbeat!

It was so beautiful!

After the ultrasound, Lynn and I both pretty emotional (though I have been on the verge of tears all day!), we had to get cash out and then go to a change machine in order to pay the $2 parking fee. Of course we had to take out a twenty from the ATM so sure enough, we won the lottery and had twenty loonies flying at us from the change machine. So we decided to get a late lunch together at Tims.

At Tims, we were enjoying each other's company and delighting in our little Erskine when a lady from a nearby table approached us. She said, "You don't know me, but you are the Erskine's right? Well I heard on the radio this morning that you're expecting! Congratulations!"

Can you believe it? A man in our worship department runs the Christian radio station here in Truro called HopeFM. He had teased us that he would announce it, but sure enough he did!

So little Erskine is already famous :) The poor thing... a PK and musicians' child...

Yeah for cute, adorable, precious little Erskine!!!

(Natasha)

Biggest Post Yet

2007-07-21T07:57:00.000-04:00

Well, it's time you all knew: I'm going to be a DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Natasha is going to be a MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine: just a few weeks ago I told Natasha I wasn't ready at all to think about parenting. She went away on a short trip that week. While she was gone, I was overwhelmed with baby fever out of nowhere! I prayed about how to talk to Natasha about my new hopes, but she came home and told me she thought she was expecting. A doctor confirmed it, and now we're excited to report Baby Erskine will be born some time in mid-February!!!!! (We'll keep you posted on more details.) PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LE

Hope for Anyone

2007-07-20T07:40:00.000-04:00

It often seems odd how quickly we who claim Christian faith can discredit one another. I live in an area in which many Christians (including many pastors!) give each other very little time becaues of "faith" differences. There are some Christians I've met who are so busy trying to save people from other churches that they've neglected legitimately hurting people who could meet Jesus. A Wesleyan (which I am) might look at a Baptist (which I also am) and wonder about their salvation based on doctrinal issues. A non-denominational (some of my roots) might look at a Presbyterian (also in my roots) and wonder about their salvation based on their lack of outward charismatic expression in worship. We look around and judge one another's faith based on our interpretive doctrine. Is doctrine important? Yes, it is, but doctrinal variance does not necessarily lead a person away from the Lord.

It's remarkable, too, that we can quickly judge and label someone outside the faith as hopless. For the latter, I think of people that we Christians consider "beyond hope." I think of the "good lady" at my sister's junior high school who called her "evil" because of behavioral problems. I think of the homosexual people gathered in the city today, against whom many church-goers around here have railed. I think of the poor treatment a community near my hometown gave to a convicted child molestor who moved into town. I think of the villains of world history and how our perceptions paint that education. There was no talk about whether my sister was beyond hope (which she was not, as we all see today). There was no question about whether the molestor had been rehabilitated. There is rarely effort made to looking at historical villains as whole people. Rather, we write people off, beginning with their minor behavioral infractions, all the way to some people's insatiable thirst for destruction. Is evil hopeless? Yes, but not that hopless.

The two paragraphs above are like me thinking out loud about something intriguing I read today. We read in 2 Kings 21:25: "But there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do wickedness in the sight of the Lord." Read that again: "...sold himself to do wickedness...." We would have written him off as hopeless, evil. What about the Lord? Read verses 28-29: "And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, 'See how Ahab has humbled himself before Me? Because he has humbed himself before Me, I will not bring the calamity in his days....'" Interestingly enough, the Lord - against whom all Ahab's sins, all the "hopeless sins" above, all the doctrinal "sins" above, and all our very real sins have been committed - the Lord looked at someone who sold himself to wickedness and gives him life and hope. NO ONE is beyond hope.

Our Neighbors.

2007-07-19T11:28:00.000-04:00

Lynn and I had wonderful company last night, who even helped us clean up the kitchen afterward. At some point in the evening, these friends asked, "Have you met any of your neighbors yet?" We responded that no, we have not yet met any of them.

Later last evening, however, we decided to go for a walk. We turned onto several streets in our quaint subdivision, and explored one that we hadn't been on before. It was a dead end street set in behind, that had lovely homes on it and several large duplexes. We were admiring the neighborhood when a man came walking by us. We said, "Hello," of course, and continued walking. After a few steps, though, he turned around and said, "You fella's look new to the neighborhood!" We were surprised that he would know, since we weren't even near our own street! We proceeded to have a very friendly conversation with Ted and admired the size and design of his duplex. He then said, "Well why don't you come in and see it?"

We went in to see the duplex, met Sherri, his wife, and then proceeded to have an hour and a half long visit with these strangers/neighbors! We looked at pictures of their grandson and scrapbooks of their trips to Europe, and family pictures from weddings and such. Finally it was 11:00 pm and they offered to drive us home. I readily accepted because I was exhausted!

We exchanged phone numbers with these beautiful people and expect to connect with them again after their weeks of vacation.

Does that seem crazy to anyone else? Have you ever lived in a neighborhood with people so friendly? I'm simply amazed!

(Natasha)

The Island

2007-07-14T22:59:00.000-04:00

There are few places more lovely than Prince Edward Island any time of year, most particularly in the summer. Green is my favorite color, and it's one of the Island's highlights this time of year. As my father-in-law said, it's all the varying hues of green contrasted with the red clay dirt that makes everything so striking. That and Tasha's aunt's gardens. They are beautiful! I couldn't help but think the Lord is a creative genius as we drove back to the mainland today. All those greens, the red clay, and the blue Northumberland Strait that reflected a nearly cloudless sky - they were truly breathtaking! Add a good time with aunts, uncles, cousins, and Grammie Currie, and you've got yourself a fabulous day trip! We even talked to our cousin in Ghana, courtesy of Skype. That's the way to spend a Saturday!

LE

Long Vaca

2007-07-13T10:09:00.001-04:00

This has been the longest vacation of my life. We originally took this vaca so that we could actually go to Beulah, see some people we rarely get to see, and enjoy some necessary time away from "real life." Then came Friday, 29 June. That's the afternoon it became obvious that we would indeed close on our house. That was good news, particularly because we had already requested vaca and could move without interfering with "real life." So, beginning 6 July we moved. We had a FLEET of people who were extremely generous with their time and muscles (especially with the piano and boxsprings). Everything seemed ducky the first day or two. The next several days were spent moving things around, unpacking, cleaning, mowing, etc. I kept thinking, "I've got to get out of Dodge!" By the time we did, I was so exhausted that I hardly enjoyed any of it till last night.

Now we're at the in-laws' house and I'm enjoying the time away. The only trouble is that we have to be back home by Monday. No Beulah, no Wesleyan friends, no planned vaca. This ten-day vaca has turned into what feels like an eternity, except for these few days without responsibility. These are flying by. Sometimes growing up sucks. At least we're going to the Island tomorrow.... :)

Settling In

2007-07-10T11:52:00.000-04:00

We're settling into the new place quite nicely. It took no time for this to feel like home. The more boxes we unpack, the more we see "home" coming into place. After living such transient lives in the last year or so, this feels really good. It's encouraging to settle into a place in which we already envision life unfolding. As I write, I'm in our downstairs family/small group room, imagining the people we'll host, the transformation we'll witness, the family development we'll enjoy. When we set up the piano and music bookshelf yesterday, I envisioned the music we could write, the practice hours our future children will hopefully have, the lessons we would strive to teach. At Canadian Tire yesterday, with a set of branch cutters/pruners in my hands, I envisioned removing the vine from our chimney, allowing the chimney to breathe and look beautiful again. (Okay, so that last one wasn't sentimental. It's a personal thing between me and all the plants in our yard.) We even put on the propane woodstove in the basement last night for good measure. (We just couldn't keep it on because it's summer.) :)

Where does all this lead? It leads us to praise the Lord again! Too many people I know would chalk this up to life happening and sentimentality, and perhaps those things are present. One thing I know with certainty is that God is truly here in this home. It is the peace of Christ that pervades my soul as I reflect this morning. It is an overwhelming understanding that this is the Lord's house that gives me such confidence in what we'll see. We're still settling in and likely will be for weeks. However, these are good times. Good, good times. (It helps that we found Laura's Scripture sketches two days ago, too!)

LE

Good News

2007-07-06T08:03:00.000-04:00

We're moving in tonight! Brian and Paula have raised an army of movers, and we're on tonight! That means we're about to have our first permanent place to call "ours" (which we all know is the Lord's anyway) since we've been married! It means finding all those things we forgot we have that have been in Ken and Lois's basement since December! It means we'll have our own kitchen again - which means, Kristi, more recipes!!!

Big Day

2007-07-03T19:46:00.001-04:00

Two important things happened today:

1) We signed everything and closed on our house. Praise the Lord!! We thought this was a no-go on Friday, and now we're "in." Long story, but let's just praise!!

2) I got my first white hair in my beard. It wasn't even gray - white! One of these days all of my hair will be white like that, and I can't wait! (I'm not kidding; I would love white hair.)

PS - We were given a piano. (There aren't enough exclamation points to put on that, so imagine our excitement. God is GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Mom

2007-07-02T08:16:00.001-04:00

Natasha and I were on the phone with my mom yesterday when we found out that she has been on our blog. Nothing beats that! I'm not sure why I think that's so great, but I find it a blast! If Mom keeps checking this blog, you might get to know her a little bit, which would be pretty fun. Here's a good story about her:

Once upon a time Mom was driving my brother and me from Lock Haven to our extremely rural home in Sugar Valley, PA. (We don't live anywhere close to that now.) We had just come from community choir practice, where our entire family older than seven sang weekly. We were having a fairly normal conversation when Ben and I started a SNL routine about Goatboy. Mom claimed not to like Goatboy, always saying he wasn't funny. The more I talked like Goatboy, however, the harder she laughed. We had almost arrived at the interstate when Mom laughed so hard she swerved in the road and had to pull over. She was laughing, crying, and telling us it wasn't funny. While she wouldn't admit it was funny, she was honest enough to stay pulled over for the next five minutes while we calmed down. To this day, I suspect you'll get at least a giggle from her if you bleat within earshot of her.

Congrats to our graduates!

2007-06-28T15:11:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to our graduates!

Lynn and I are celebrating both Joel Currie's and Allison Erskine's graduation this year. But, unfortunately, we did not make it down to Delaware to see Allison walk. We do not have pictures of her, but she is fabulously beautiful and very accomplished. She's really quite wonderful and we miss her a lot.

We did see Joel walk, so here a few pictures...

(Joel and Sarah)

(Joel sang lead in "We're here for a good time" by Trooper)

(The fam)

(The fam now including Robbie!)

Another update :)

2007-06-18T14:55:00.000-04:00

1. I led worship at our baptist associations ladies retreat last weekend and it was awesome. What an opportunity! Leading worship is such a "dream job". It's like, "Hi, can you come and usher in the presence of the Lord and watch as He does wonderful things in our midst?" ..."Okay!"

2. Lynn stayed home (he wasn't exactly invited to the Ladies retreat...)and partook of a beautiful service at our church. The Lord spoke to Pastor Peter that He was going to heal some particular people in the congregation of some particular things, and a beautiful healing service opened up with God ministering to many. There are some beautiful testimonies of some people getting healed in the Lord's grace.

3. I spent a wonderful few days with Joy Green on Grand Manan Island. We had a blast and talked nonstop for days :) I also chopped my hair off, which I have been waiting to do for ages, and it felt sooo good!

4. Last evening, Sunday the 17th, we had our choir concert of praise! It was the finale for our choir this spring and they did such a fantastic job! Lynn is so gifted at drawing out their strengths and pushing them to go beyond where they think they can. It was awesome!

5. This Wednesday morning, Lynn and I are leaving for my brother Joel's high school graduation in Moncton. We are taking some vacation days to spend with the family and are very excited to see my (one of my...) studly, talented, amazing brother achieve such an awesome accomplishment. Yeah for Joel!!!

6. We have not been blogging about this, but Lynn and I have encountered a situation that is resulting in something very sad... We are losing our house. As a first time home buyer, you can carry your RSP's over for your downpayment. Lynn and I had two substancial RSP's, personal and through the Wesleyan Church. We were under the understanding that we could consolidate them and use the money towards our downpayment. The transfer took about two months and our banker changed in the midst of the process. The new banker called us when the transfer was completed and we found out we had more than we needed in funds. However, we were then informed that the pension plan through the Wesleyan church was the one kind that we are not allowed to touch until we're 55 :) We have all this money set aside for retirement, but we don't have any (or very little) for right now! We have been working on other options but none are satisfactory. We do not know what this means or where we will live. We are very sad and have been heart broken through this process. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few months and what the Lord has up His sleeve...

Continue to pray for us!

Natasha

Memories

2007-06-15T08:06:00.000-04:00

As Tasha got on the Grand Manan V on Tuesday, I decided to walk around the side of the dock and watch the crew prepare to head to the island. I glanced at the boat and was stopped by the open deck on the top of the ferry. I was facing the very place on the Grand Manan V that was the breaking point (or, making point, rather) for Tasha and me. For those on BBC Chorale that year, you'll remember that Tasha and I both went to the upper deck to stare at the sunset. We weren't speaking because we were both confused and a little hurt, secretly madly in love with each other. (There's an imfamous picture in our home stuff to document this if you ever visit.) Suddently, Elizabeth was to my right, and she hip-checked me in Tasha's direction. We all talked for awhile, but Tasha and I eventually talked again and sorted through our (mostly my) emotions. There's something about that November weekend that was pivotal for where we are today. Staring at the spot on the upper deck of Grand Manan V this Tuesday has brought on a flood of feelings, thoughts, and gratitude for where we are today.

Today marks exactly one year from the first time Tasha and I came to Truro for our first interview with IBC. On Sunday, it will be a year from the time we attended our first service here and in which I perceived the Lord in a pillar of cloud right in front of Pastor Peter. The Lord still moves powerfully before us here! (Our spontaneous healing service has resulted in at least two miraculous healings literally on the spot, and that's just one small part of what happened among our fellowship this past weekend!)

Odd question...

2007-06-06T14:19:00.000-04:00

Okay... bikini's or no bikini's?

I'd like both male and female opinions regarding the appropriateness of Christian women/girls wearing bikini's.

What do you think?

(Natasha)

Another (long) update.

2007-06-04T15:50:00.000-04:00

May has been super busy!

1. Lynn turned 26! Yeah for Lynn! He's now officially old :). Myself and the Chute family pulled together a surprise birthday party for him. I babysat the two boys earlier that week, and we had a blast making decorations and planning a rather elaborate treasure hunt where we hid all the gifts in the dryer and had SEVERAL clues leading up to finding them :) What a blast! (You can see pictures of the event in one of the picture trails below.)

2. We enjoyed an all day prayer vigil at our church for God's guidance as we continue to investigate a possible building expansion. What a beautiful day in the presence of the Lord! We trust in his continued guidance as our church continues to grow.

3. We concluded our semester with Cantabile Singers with a finale Broadway Dinner Theatre. It was so much fun! We each had unique and creative costumes, but concluded the evening with our third set of songs in black tuxedos and formal dresses. It was long, exhausting, and wonderful!

(Lynn and I sang "Summer Nights" from Greece as one of the ensemble numbers. During rehearsal, our director, Ross, said, "Lynn, can you please be a little more raunchy?" Off stage at the performance, the other choir members were calling him "Raunchy Reverend"!)

4. Lynn and I received dreadful news as our financial plans for the house took an unexpected twist. We are still waiting on the Lord as He continues to minister to us, growing us into a family that is secure and content in Him, no matter what we have. It has been an amazing journey as we continue to hold God's promises in our heart, but seem to face obstacle after obstacle in regard to our house. He seems to be speaking into my heart, "I promised you blessings, but I AM your security. Rest in me today and I will provide for tomorrow."

In the midst of this trial of trusting, God keeps dropping hints of blessing in our lap. We unexpectedly received a washer and dryer, which are two of the three appliances we need for our home! They are good models and in good condition - the right size and everything for what we need! Also, some of our friends said they were convicted of the Lord about how much stuff they have and thought they might be able to give us some of their furniture! They are not at all bound if they happen to change their mind, but God is speaking to us through all of these acts of blessing.

Father make us trusters and givers, content to have our basic needs met, and then to bless others!

5. I am preparing to lead worship this weekend for our Baptist Association's Ladies Retreat. We convene at Camp Pagweak Friday night for a weekend with the Lord! There is much anticipation in my spirit; but I am also aware of unknown territory... I am praying for favor and grace as we gather from different backgrounds and are familiar with different songs of worship... I know God will unite us and far exceed my expectation of faithfulness and anointing on such a weekend. My experience with these women so far tells me that there is little I'll have to do to actually lead! They are very eager and hungry for the Lord!

Lynn and I continue to grow as we adjust to being out on our own, serving in ministry for the first time, in a new place, new denomination, and with new people. We are blessed beyond measure by our senior pastor and staff, and gracious congregation.

We love you all family and friends!

For Fun

2007-06-02T22:07:00.000-04:00

Here are some more pictures to enjoy.

Lynn's Birthday Weekend

2007-06-02T21:35:00.000-04:00

We just thought we'd share some of last weekend with everyone....

My thing.

2007-05-30T16:55:00.000-04:00

I am a very passionate person, but tend to keep that passion under pretty tight reigns... when I can. However, there often comes a day when I encounter the thing... and suddenly passion begins to take over...

Life is moving along, there are dishes in the sink, the floor is filthy, my bathroom is filthy, and drying laundry is draped all over the house... no problem. We are having some financial stresses and have some uncertainties regarding the future... we're still okay... but then, out of the blue, there comes that one thing that pushes me over the edge. It's that one thing that makes me say, "Okay, that's enough! Lord, it's time to intervene!"

Right now I have a thing. It's the toilet. For some reason, I am incapable of flushing our toilet. I seemed to flush it fine from January through April, but the past few weeks, I find myself incapable of flushing the toilet. I'd like to think that it's not me, that it's a recent problem developing with the toilet flusher... but no. Every time I flush it makes a water-swishing sound and then... nothing. Lynn however, can come in the bathroom, press the flusher, and all is well. But no, not me. I am incapable of flushing the toilet. The worst part about the whole thing, is if it doesn't work the first time, then it takes another half hour to refill so I can try again. What am I supposed to do? wait for a half hour just to flush the toilet? or leave the toilet unflushed hoping that no one needs to use the washroom within a half hour, if I even remember to come back to it?

The long and short of it is, the toilet's flushing abilities have little if anything to do with it. It jut happens to be my thing right now. I've always remembered one of Pastor Kevin Matthews sermons at Moncton Wesleyan that talked about this. I don't actually remember any real spiritual content of the message; but I've always remembered that if Pastor Kevin has had a bad day and comes home from work and walks into the kitchen and one of the kitchen cupboard doors is open, then he loses it. He just can't stand when the cupboard doors are left open. But it's not really about the cupboard doors, it's about everthing else that happened earlier in his day.

So what do you think? Do you have a thing?

(Natasha)

My thing is not always a toilet problem... hopefully they're too rare to consistently manifest themselves in a season of distress...

Fences

2007-05-28T07:54:00.000-04:00

Last night at SOAK, we talked about building fences (or boundaries) in relationships. Someone brought up an interesting point that got me thinking. Someone mentioned we are often too quick to put up a boundary with someone when we feel hurt by them. We feel hurt, so we begin to write that person off as a friend, sometimes calling them a "toxic" person. Often we need to realize that our boundary for someone is often put up, in such a situation, because of ourselves. We have a feeling, we took offense, or we wrote the person off, indicating that we have a problem.

Here's where my thinking begins. While you don't have the context of the conversation, hopefully you get the point above. We have problems, and we blame other people or other circumstances. (Maybe I should just say "I" here, but I doubt I'm alone on this.) Someone hurts us by hitting on a nerve we don't want to face, so we shut them out. The problem? My nerve. Or we begin to hold someone at a distance for fear that we might be hurt or they might not be a friend. The problem? My fear. Or even worse, we set up a boundary because someone's action or involvement in our lives uncovers an area in which we don't trust someone close to us. The problem? Either my mistrust or the problems of someone close to me that I don't want to face.

I have a few family members who say to each other in disagreement, "That sounds like your problem," if one or the other says, "You make me mad," or, "That was a hurtful thing to say." While I don't agree that a person has no responsibility for my feelings, I do think we are entirely too quick not to take responsibility for ourselves in our relationships. If we hurt someone, we often point to people in our past (or present), events in our past (or present), or circumstances in our past (or present) in order to provide a "reason" why we act the way we do. We're caught up in the "I can't help it" game just to save ourselves and/or our reputations. Rather than admit we have room to grow and allow someone close to us to help us through it, we push the problem on them, on our past, or on some factor in our present that renders us "helpless" to do anything but behave poorly or set up a fence too quickly. We make it inconceivable that we have any room to grow because that would make us capable of hurting another person and responsible for contributing to a relationship problem.

Let's face two things here: 1) Sometimes boundaries do need to be established, but we are quick to do that in order to protect ourselves rather than to work through something, and 2) We're human! That's right, human. In other words, we aren't going to have perfect relationships, and we're going to hurt and be hurt. Even very godly people who love each other can hurt and be hurt. Even "free" people who seemingly have "arrived" at a place in which they have no human foibles anymore are subject to miscommunication and misunderstanding, meaning that hurt is still possible. We are so quick to protect ourselves by building fences that demand grace be given to us for our past, our present, etc., but we rarely extend the grace to other people to consider their past, their present, etc. And we almost never acknowledge misunderstanding.

Two closing remarks:

1) In light of this, it seems, then, that we should work harder in our relationships not to hold people at a distance. We should bring people closer, taking the risk that hurt brings. After all, Proverbs tells us that a wound from a friend can be trusted. In other words, if someone loves us, they probably don't intend harm if they wound us. They're probably the ones who can help us work through it.

2) Sometimes boundaries really are necessary, but it's probably not a good idea to set one up until you've tried to work on a relationship through honesty among all parties. Once you've accepted your responsibility and brought that to the Lord to release offense/bitterness and/or unforgiveness, there remains a time of openness and honesty with the offender. If the offender chooses blindness and won't accept the possibility of shared responsibility, then it seems a boundary has already been drawn by that person. I'm not saying I'm 100% right on this, but it seems, at that point, that this is a good time to start building and painting that fence.

(Lynn)

Another one...

2007-05-21T14:57:00.000-04:00

We're still missing our family. ;) Here's another one we wanted to share.

Missing...

2007-05-21T14:12:00.001-04:00

We miss our niece and nephew!

Sketchy

2007-05-19T10:11:00.000-04:00

There's a sketchy part of town off Brunswick St. that has scrap metal piled high and dirt all over the place. If you drive into downtown from the east side, you can't miss the eyesore, which happens to be close to the air force building that is in need of repair. This area is, of course, just off the railroad tracks, where several people are known to walk alone at night. As if that weren't sketchy enough, carnival rides and booths recently started being erected in the parking lot by the air force building, with the scrap metal pile in the background. Driving through there at dusk earlier this week, I couldn't help but take a second glance to see if any "carnies" would peek out from behind the ferris wheel or tilt-a-whirl.

Blessed!

2007-05-17T12:48:00.000-04:00

Well, what can we say!? The Lord looks out for His own :)

Lynn and I went to the grocery store on Tuesday in fear and trepidation :) (Not really... I'm usually more afraid than Lynn!)

We were having family for company and were in much need of groceries... so off we went. We had a little difficulty at the cash, but lo and behold, we walked out with our groceries, ready to host our dearly loved family members!

When my cousin, her husband, and their nephew arrived just before 7:00 pm to stay for the night, we thought we were receiving a blessing of family fellowship. This we did receive, but also more! Steven, my cousin's husband, is the head chef at a restaurant on PEI. He has several contacts in the food industry and gets all his meats on special deals. As he was bringing in their luggage, they dragged in a big, blue cooler. They opened it up and presented to us a truckload (not really...) of meat! There were ribs, haddock, lobster (still alive!), and scallops galore! Steven then preceded to host us in our "own" home and we ate lobster and scallops for a late supper/snack :)

Isn't that wonderful! We had a surprise visit from our family and a surprise blessing of provision from the Lord!

What can I say? We're blessed!

Mothers

2007-05-13T05:54:00.000-04:00

Neither of us is a mother, but we have lots of friends who are! We've sent congrats to our moms and will probably call them today, too. For our "mother" friends who check this today, be blessed and Happy Mother's Day!

FYI

2007-05-12T07:42:00.000-04:00

Well, for your information, my personal blog is now open for anyone to read and comment.

www.natasha-erskine.blogspot.com

Natasha

Why I Blog Infrequently

2007-05-11T17:13:00.000-04:00

A new post is better than commenting on Natasha's post below, particularly since we are sharing about two different topics.

Contrary to popular rumors, I check our blog frequently. I actually spend time reading it regularly. I have two excuses for not posting more frequently:

1) Natasha often posts, and I see little need to have two posts per day on a regular basis. She often posts about things we discuss, and I rarely have a better way of writing what she expresses. We think more alike all the time.

2) I post infrequently for the same reason I suspect many people we know post infrequently. We tend to think of good blogging ideas at inopportune times. Let's not lie; I forget what I want to write. I'm no less opinionated. I just exercise good time management at work (meaning I rarely open our blog there); I like staying active in the community (meaning I don't take my blog with me everywhere I go); and I can't remember everything I think or do in the run of a day or week. :)

There you have it.

A question.

2007-05-11T09:12:00.000-04:00

(Editorial insert from Lynn: "Turnips" are now on recipe blog.)

I have a question. Please respond if you legitimately have an opinion.

Should I open up my other blog, a more personal journal, to be read publicly?

Here's the thing... I canceled my other blog ages ago because I found it difficult to balance sharing the private thoughts of my heart with "fellowshipping" casually among friends in this world of blogdom. I needed a outlet while I was on my internship, and thus started a blog... but didn't realize my own susceptibility to the comparisons that can easily take place when we begin sharing personal things about our journey with the Lord, etc on our blogs.

I then joined Lynn's blog - this blog - which He in turn transformed into a romantic expression of our oneness as only he would... However, now I find that He rarely blogs, I often blog, and comments are made mostly by the same females who had commented on my previous blog! So what have I accomplished in changing over to this blog? ...very little.

The problem is... I really enjoy sharing my thoughts with you. The Lord is often leading me to write and it burns within me to share... So I opened a new blog as my own personal journal that is not opened to anyone to read except Lynn. I have tried to keep this one more casual and focused on the happenings of mine and Lynn's life, a casual opportunity to keep in touch with friends. However, I still find myself sharing personal things on this blog because I really want to share. Sometimes I write in my other blog and its everything I can do not to copy and paste into this one where people can read it and share their thoughts...

Here's what I'm thinking... Keep this blog a family blog for Lynn and I (hopefully he will blog more...) and open up my other blog to be read by others... (though I may not allow for comments yet only because of my own susceptibility to get caught up in what you think...)

Does anyone else struggle with the line between personal journaling and casually keeping in contact with people? Does anyone else feel the susceptibility to compare your posts to someone else's? as though one could be more "spiritual" or better than another?

Weekend update.

2007-05-08T19:13:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was extremely busy... and extremely rewarding!

Saturday, Lynn led our 2nd quarterly Worship Workshop, which was once again... fabulous. It started at 9:00 am and finished at 3:00 pm. This time we discussed such topics as Worship and Performance, Worship as Service and Obedience, the Function and Practice of Worship Teams, and Songwriting. We always begin with a time of worship (a setting where Lynn has a little more freedom to introduce new songs and new styles of worship); followed by a time of testimony and discussion concerning the positive aspects as well as the distractions during that time. So far, we have had small numbers, which has made for very intimate times with the Lord and one another! So good!
(Seeing Lynn in this role births so many visions in my heart. He is so excellent at bringing people together and learning about the Lord. God has blessed him with the anointing and gracious spirit that compels others to seek, ask, and knock... and of course find, and receive! Praise the Lord!)

Sunday morning was my (Natasha's) first time preaching here at Immanuel. It went well; though it was a humbling and stretching experience for me. I have "long" since settled my arguments with the Lord concerning my call to teach the Word of God; and now face the enduring hard work of obedience down the road ahead... I am incapable of such a life, nor would I ever have chosen it. But if I remain in Him and He in me, I will bear much fruit; apart from Him I can do nothing (John 15:5).

Sunday after church, Lynn and I left just ahead of our choir to New Beginnings Church in Dartmouth, NS as the guest choir and speaker (Lynn) for their Anniversary Service. This is a black church in our Baptist convention with which we are building a strong family and musical relationship. The evening was full of joy and excitement as we celebrated together, black and white, in many different styles, in the presence of the Lord, for the faithfulness of God. We sang, ate, and listened to a powerful message Lynn spoke on Jeremiah 29:11. We also ate and drank of the Lord amidst the fellowship of believers. "Poor" Lynn wore many hats that day as he played, sang, directed, and preached... jumping from one position to the next! But it was so worth it for the fellowship we shared and the impact this experience had on our choir.

As the cherry on the cake... (except no one even likes cherries, so why do we use that expression? It should be more like the yummy and decorative chocolate shavings...) we spent the rest of Sunday evening with the wonderful Wiedmaiers until we were kicked out of Starbucks, and then until our toes were numb from the cold pavement of the parking lot...

So life is good and God is great!
Praise His Holy Name!

A Miracle.

2007-05-02T13:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we saw a miracle. For the second time, our computer just died. It all of a sudden just wouldn't turn on. We had paid to have it fixed not too long ago and we have no more money to put into a computer right now. Lynn also had Greek homework due last night and thus needed the Bible study software and resources on this computer. So we prayed...

While Lynn was at work I said, "Lord, this is just not okay. It is, actually, unacceptable. You know we need this computer and we don't have the time or finances to make this thing work. For the sake of you Name, Lord, fix this computer!"

Lynn came home a few hours later and tried the computer. It didn't work. We said, "Lord there are no if's, and's, or but's about this one. You just need to make this work."

Lo and behold... it turned on!

We weren't yelling at God or wielding some manipulative power over Him. We just knew His will and this broken computer was not matching up with His will. So we boldly declared it to be fixed and God did it. We were so blessed by this miracle and immediately praised the Lord. He was with us! He heard our prayer and answered it immediately. Praise His holy, gracious Name!!

This has helped build our faith for the many things we are believing God for right now! In particular, the finances for our home, and the right job for me.

"Did I not say that if you will believe Me, you will see the glory of God!" John 11:40

Laughs.

2007-05-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

You guys are awesome :). Your comments about babies and recipes were really very funny... Both will come soon enough (though hopefully recipes sooner than the other!).

For now, I would appreciate your prayers as I am looking for a job. I feel as though God has released something in me after graduation... I really want a job in the community where I can build relationships (and settle down... start a family...). There is a women's federal prison in town and I would love to work there!!! Can you imagine being a chaplain or something in a place like that!? Would they even let me talk about Jesus? And if they didn't... would I anyway!?

Anyway... who knows what the next few months will hold. My prayer is "Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness... make straight your way before me... For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield" (Psalm 5:8, 12). The Lord brought me to these verses just prior to grad and then used the commencement sermon as confirmation (it was all about walking with God's favor). This is an act of discipline for me to not worry about how we're going to pay for our house, etc... and scrounge around in all sorts of directions looking for a job. But to keep walking straight ahead, not looking to the left or the right, and believing God to orchestrate divine appointments and lead us in the straight path of righteousness for His Name's sake.

So I am walking into the blessings of God, living by faith and not by sight! Here is my next season... A season of Life and community relationships, a season of radiating the dark corners of Truro with the glorious light of Christ...

Bring it!

(Natasha)

Fini.

2007-04-30T07:26:00.000-04:00

Well, it's official... I'M GRADUATED!!!

It has been quite a journey! Thank you to everyone who came to graduation, sent cards, gifts, or supported in prayer and encouragement!

This season of life is officially closed. On to the next! (Which is what?!)

Natasha